'AITA for not letting my dad erase my mom by giving his new family her jewelry?'
"AITA for not allowing my dad to give any of my late mom's jewelry to his fiancée or their daughters?"
FreeCryptographer124 writes:
My mom died when I (26F) was 12. When I was 15, my dad gave me all of her things after an overeager ex of his tried to take some of Mom's belongings for herself. I ended up yelling at the woman, and she tried to slap me for "disrespecting her."
My dad broke up with her after that. It wasn’t the first time someone had shown interest in Mom’s things. His sister had wanted a pearl pendant that belonged to Mom and even tried to steal it.
My dad told me that Mom had wanted her things to go to me, so he was respecting her wishes. After he gave everything to me, I packed it up and sent it to my grandparents for safekeeping.
My dad met his fiancée when I was 17. The two of us never connected, and I moved out when I turned 18. That’s when they started having children. Now they have five together and are due to get married in February 2026.
He has two daughters (7 and 6) with his fiancée, and he told me recently that he wanted to give the three of them a gift from Mom’s jewelry collection. He wants his fiancée to have Mom’s Claddagh ring that she got as a teenager.
He wants the necklace he bought Mom for their wedding to go to the older of his two daughters, and a bracelet he bought Mom to go to the younger one. He also said his fiancée is in love with a watch that belonged to my mom and suggested I could give it to her as a wedding gift. He said that since the two of us have had a rough time connecting, it might help her feel more welcome.
My answer to all of it was no. I didn’t hesitate or beat around the bush. I was honest. My answer was no. He told me it was the right thing to do and that it would show we’re all one family. I told him, be that as it may, he could buy them new jewelry if he wanted, but my mom was not their family. And like he said himself, she wanted all of her things to go to me.
His fiancée asked me what kind of daughter I was being to her (she’s 12 years older than me, for crying out loud) and what kind of sister I was being. She said that letting her kids have something of my mom’s would help us all feel like a family.
Then she brought it back around to herself and said she deserved the ring my dad had talked about so much—more than even his or my mom’s wedding ring. I told her that was too bad for her and that the ring was mine now. Just like the rest of it.
She and her kids are getting none of it. My dad sent me a long text saying that, for his sake, he hopes I reconsider because this is breaking his heart and putting him in a difficult spot. AITA?
OP got some responses to her post.
Consistent_Post5278 says:
Sooo, he said that your mom wanted you to have it all. Why the f^#k would you give it up. Not the a&@%ole.
OP responded:
I know!! Why the change now all of a sudden. Why not accept mom wanted her child to have everything she left behind. His new kids and his soon to be wife were never a part of my mom's life or family (not that the kids could be but still).
Puzzled-Safe4801 says:
Is all of it in a safe place where he and/or this woman can’t get to it?
OP responded:
Yep. I wear the ring but I never took it off around them either.