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'AITA for not giving my deadbeat dad my share of the inheritance for his sick child?'

'AITA for not giving my deadbeat dad my share of the inheritance for his sick child?'


"AITA for not giving my deadbeat father the inheritance left by my grandpa that would have been his normally?"

GlitteringBarber3352 writes:

My father (late 50s) left my mom when I (20M) was 3, and my sister was a newborn baby. Mom had many mental health problems after this, and we were instead raised by our grandpa (dad's dad) and grandma until her passing when I was 7.

Grandpa died last year, and I took over as the legal guardian for my sister. Grandpa had nothing to do with my deadbeat father, although he was aware the deadbeat had married and fathered other children in the last five years.

But it changed nothing for him because he did not look too kindly on a man who would abandon two children the way my father did. He literally left the country to evade child support and refused contact with his family for years. He also emptied out all the money he and my mom had before he left us, so he left us with literally nothing.

When grandpa drew up his will, he looked into how he could leave my father with nothing, but that wasn't an option. However, he didn't need to leave him with more than a single dollar, and so that's what he did. The portion that would have been my father's was divided between my sister and me. He also left the house to my sister and me.

My estranged father attempted to fight the will and get the share my sister and I own, but he was denied because my grandfather did everything above board. My father's siblings ended up back in contact with him after grandpa died, and while they're not close like before, they have a relationship that my sister and I have no interest in being a part of.

So where the moral question comes in is this: My father has a child who has a life-limiting medical condition. He and his wife are struggling to keep their heads above water with four young kids and not a lot of money.

He feels I should give him my share of the inheritance for the sake of the kids, believing grandpa was wrong not to think of them at all in his will (he left nothing to my deadbeat father's other children). I told him he wasn't getting anything from me, and then my father's siblings got involved.

They feel I should give him my share and that having the house and my sister having the money should be good enough, but I could do it as an act of kindness for other siblings I refuse to meet or get to know. I have been under some intense pressure over this, and it's all driven by the illness/condition that one of his children has. I know that's the only reason my aunts and uncles are so bothered by it. AITA?

OP responded to some comments:


Grandpa knew what he was doing. You said grandpa knew he had other children, but left his first two (purposely acting in a way to not have any financial responsibility to you, sister, or mom). Grandpa specifically left it to you and your sister. Your deadbeat dad is facing the consequences of his actions now. NTA (Not the A%@#ole).

OP responded:

My sister and I feel that way about it too. We know grandpa saw this as our father's consequences and that he likely saw it as my father being forced to pay up for us one way or another.

Dittoheadforever says:

You're NTA. You can consider "his" share of the inheritance that you and your sister received is all the back child support he owed you plus the money he stole from your mother. "My father has a child who has a life limiting medical condition." That is very sad but it is not your responsibility. Your father had a responsibility to you and your sister that he blatantly ignored. He doesn't deserve your inheritance now.

OP responded:

We think grandpa viewed it as that too. That he refused to pay with what he had over the years but he still paid in a way with what would have otherwise been his inheritance.


NTA at all. Your Grandpa wanted you and your sister to have his estate. It's very unfair of your deadbeat dad to try to fight things to get the money. It appears he only cares about the money, which could be why he came around when there was money he thought he could get. I am so sorry for your situation.

OP responded:

I think he wanted to reconnect with some of the family too. Not us. But grandpa and my aunts and uncles. He didn't get the reception he wanted though and only cares about getting money from me and my sister.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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