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Mother has meltdown after her father calls her daughter 'his own.' AITA?

Mother has meltdown after her father calls her daughter 'his own.' AITA?


Childcare is expensive yet necessary. For some people having family close by to provide free childcare can save thousands of dollars, but the caveat is that your kid has to deal with some parts of your family that you don't like.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**%ole Subreddit, a woman gets upset when her dad refers to her child and his own.

I (20) have an eight-month-old daughter; it’s just her and me because her dad didn’t want anything to do with her, which is fine by me. Currently, I have zero interest in dating.

My dad wasn’t exactly an active participant in my upbringing, he met my stepmother when I was 10, and they’ve since had my two brothers - one being only two months older than my daughter; I moved in with him because my mother couldn’t handle a baby in the house.

I’m currently doing my L3 apprenticeship in childcare. I work 35-hour weeks (not long, but one of the settings is an hour walk + nearly hour bus ride, I don’t mean one or the other, so a total of almost two hours. The other is an hour bus).

I’m usually out 6:30 AM to 7 PM (I pay rent, cook for everyone and do chores). I pay my stepmother to babysit for me as she’s a SAHM; however, in two months, my daughter will be able to start the nursery I work in.

My stepmother has always wanted a daughter, but sometimes I get jealous or upset about how close she is to my daughter. Sometimes, she won’t let me hold her/feed her, or walk her (she does apologize afterward and says she gets anxious because of how young I am), but I’m hoping if I suck it up, I’ll be able to afford my own place in a year.

My stepmother's sister visited, and I overheard; I don’t know why my dad refers to my daughter and his son as his and my stepmother's “babies” I waited till my step-aunt left and reminded him that he didn’t even want to be called granddad, he’s not my baby's dad nor is she her mother.

He said, “sorry with how often we look after them, sometimes it does feel like she’s our daughter” he’s been encouraging me to go to university; I didn’t do well in school, so university is out of the question, but he mentioned how he’d be continuing to look after her should I go to university / I said I wouldn’t even bother trying to go to uni if he was going to cross a boundary.

I cried, and my stepmother said I was overreacting and should be happy with how close everyone was and how much they did for me. She said that people sometimes form unconscious bonds and thoughts, and since they apologized, I shouldn’t have “manipulated” them. AITA?

The internet has thoughts about OP's situation.

mr_cesar says:

NTA (Not the A**@ole). She's crossing the line and must respect some clear boundaries I don't even have to mention. The problem here isn't they sometimes feel like their grandkids are their own children, but they are trying to undermine your role as a parent.

Huntress_of_the_Moon says:

Your stepmom is a babysitter acting in highly inappropriate ways with your daughter. Withholding your child from you is especially scary, and your dad referring to your daughter as your stepmom is also a cause for concern.

I would be worried that they might try to use the police/legal system to take your daughter away from you, especially since your stepmom is already espousing concerns about you caring for your own daughter and implying that you're incapable or incompetent. Given all this together, I'd be seriously concerned about their motives. NTA.

Double_Lingonberry98 says:

Beware that they may be planning to take custody of your child.

OP, are you playing Among Us because your family is acting awfully sus.

Sources: Reddit
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