"AITA for letting my husband take over a tradition that my late husband used to do?"
"AITA for for acknoledging that my daughter hates my husband?"
Brave-Extension-8096 says:
So, I (42F) have two daughters: Emma (17F) and Lucy (10F). The issue revolves around my husband, who is Emma’s stepfather. Emma’s dad passed away when she was younger, and I remarried three years ago.
She and my husband don’t get along at all, and she makes it clear she dislikes him. My husband has tried to bond with her, but Emma shuts him out completely, refuses to talk, and ignores him. We all know she will never see him as a father figure, and we are fine with that.
Here’s where it gets tricky: when Emma was younger, her biological dad would take her to father-daughter outings. We have a lot of pictures from those. Lucy was too young to remember any of them. We thought it would be nice to do again since Lucy sees her stepdad as her dad. Specifically, they would go to a pumpkin patch and then carve pumpkins together.
They went to the pumpkin patch yesterday and had a great time. Lucy and my husband really bonded and enjoyed themselves. The issue is Emma. She is pissed that he took over the tradition with Lucy, saying that my husband "stole" the tradition and that I am disrespecting her late father’s memory.
I was exhausted from hearing the same arguments over and over. So, I snapped and said, “Yeah, I get it, you hate him, but your sister sees him as her dad and doesn’t have these memories like you do. Are you really going to ruin this for your sister? No one owns going to a pumpkin patch.”
She has been furious, calling me an insensitive jerk. She is also getting on Lucy’s case for going with my husband. My mom thinks I am the jerk here, and I need an outside opinion.
OP added context when she responded to some comments from readers.
PumpkinPowerful3292 says:
NTA - He didn't steal anything. Does Emma now believe that for forever now anyone who goes on a father-daughter excursion can't? How narcissistic and self-centered. That is just plain silly. The only person here who is being disrespectful is Emma towards Lucy, trying to deny her the love and support from your husband. And that should not put up with in no uncertain terms. Tell your to butt out.
OP responded:
Oh, that would be worse, trying to make her have family time with a guy she hates. Not to mention she would make a whole point about how he isn’t fmaily to her. That would be a no.
Joeyemery5535 says:
Info what is the reason your daughter gives for hating her stepfather?
OP responded:
Me moving on, is the issue. She claims I am disrespecting his memory. This was an issue the moment I said I was dating. Her issues with him are nonsense, she once told me I can’t like him because he is blond. Everything is an issue, she once said he was breathing too loud.