AITA for telling my 'nerdy' daughter she has to learn how to make friends instead of forcing her popular sister to be her friend.

My husband is mad that I won't force my popular daughter to be friends with my nerdy daughter.

Ok-Combination7341 writes:

Both of my daughters are in high school; my oldest, Cindy, is 16, and my youngest, Emily, is 14. Now, Cindy is quite popular; she is on the volleyball team and has a huge friend group.

My youngest isn’t very popular, and her friend, Beth, is her only friend. It also doesn’t help that Emily is into hobbies most other high schoolers don’t care about.

Emily and Beth got into a fight, and Beth is not speaking to her anymore. She is sitting alone at lunch now. This came out yesterday, and my husband wants Cindy to invite her to sit with her group of friends at the “popular table.” Cindy refused, saying she doesn’t want to do that.

My husband was mad, but when he tried to get me to back him up, I told him Cindy has every right to not want her little sister in her friend group. That you can’t do that to her, and Emily needs to make her own friends.

My husband is pissed at me and Cindy. Emily is super upset that she doesn’t have people to eat with, and I am wondering if I made the right call or if I am being a jerk.

OP responded to some comments:

HeirOfRavenclaw says:

NTA (Not the A%#hole). You’re right in that Emily needs to find her own way and get her own friends.

Leornado10 says

NTA; And I know what it feels like, my parents made me do it. My brother had less friends than me, and my father forced me to eat with him every day. Of course, I’d gather some friends to the table. They were nice to my brother, but weren’t more interessed with him since we had a few years age difference.

My brother always tried to bring attention on him, and was angry when I wouldn’t do something with him in public. My friends made me understood that his presence was not appreciated. Even if it seems hard for Emily, I’m sure she’ll find a few friends to build her own circle, even if it takes some time.

pizzasauce85 says:

My older sister and I barely acknowledged each other when we went to the same school. It helped that we had different last names and didn’t look alike until you saw us next to each other. We had different school activities so never socialized that way.

Some of my friends didn’t even know she was my sister until we hung out at homecoming or when she came up at lunch to swap books we were reading. It wasn’t out of hatred or meanness, she was two grades above me with different types of friends. I would have rather sat alone than have her drag me to her friend group.

Applesbabe says:

While your husbands intentions are good he clearly doesn't understand how teenage girls work. Forcing your Claire to invite Emily to the popular table will not gain her friends or make her feel welcome. In fact, it would probably make the situation worse. This is something that Emily is going to have to work out on her own as painful as that is to watch.

What do you think? Is OP right to not get invovled?