'AITA for thinking it isn't rude of my daughter to have a 3rd plate of food?'

"AITA for assuming my daughter could have a 3rd plate?"

doglover233520 writes:

Yesterday, my sister hosted a family dinner at her house. It was one of those "just because" dinners, no special occasion. My sister is a great cook, and she made tons of food for that one night.

My daughter was on her second plate by the end of the night. Once she finished, she asked if she could get another one. I said yes, but my sister (her aunt) looked at her with a shocked expression and said, "Another plate?" My daughter turned around and gave a somewhat uncomfortable look.

My daughter is 16 and has two part-time jobs to pay for some of her college tuition, so she usually doesn't eat until 7-8 pm. So I didn't even blink twice when she got up to grab her third plate.

I turned to my sister and said that she's been working all day without anything to eat, and since she made tons of food, it wouldn't hurt for her to get another plate. My sister started yelling, saying something about how it wasn't my place to decide if my daughter could get more of the food that she made.

Now I do somewhat agree with that and might be the A-hole because of it. Looking back, I'm thinking maybe I should have asked? My daughter ended up not getting another plate, and since the vibe was awkward now, we just decided to go.

Before we walked out the door, my sister stopped me and told me I should've taught my daughter manners and that it isn't right to get more than one plate at someone else's house.

I told my sister she was being ridiculous, and somehow our voices got loud enough that my mom started to hear us from the small corner. She came over and started telling me she agreed with my sister and that it was rude for my daughter to eat that many plates.

I started to get fed up when they began telling me I wasn't teaching her proper manners, so I left. Then, of course, they began texting my phone, saying how it was rude to leave in the middle of our conversation.

I don't think I was the A-hole at all for leaving because I wasn't going to stay in a place where I felt disrespected. But I'm not sure about the plate thing. So, am I the A-hole for assuming my daughter could get another plate?

Herer are the top comments:

Sea_Estate8909 says:

Had everyone else had a chance to get some food? Also, was the third plate going to finish off the rest of the food?

OP responded:

Everyone else was pretty much done their meal after the second portion, we all finished at the same time. And no, there was plenty of food left. Thank you for asking!

Lyzab77 says:

NTA. Families are often the first place where children get judged. And where they don't feel safe. Your daughter was hungry, coming to a family dinner after working hard because she is courageous. And she can't eat when she is hungry?

What kind of aunt or grandmother consider that a 16 years old should stop eating? I don't why, but I have the feeling that if your daughter was a boy, she could have eaten as much as she wanted, because a boy "needs food to be tall and strong!"

Your sister makes a lot of food for those non special occasions. What for if people can't take more than a plate? Just to show that she makes a lot but not giving a lot to people? If she isn't ready to share what she proposes, she'd better not hosting dinners!

OP responded:

I never throught about the "Making tons of food for people to only take one plate" thing. Now that I think about it, my sister does consider herself a "food influencer" and posts lots of her food on instagram. So I am assuming that's why she made so much, for the cameras.

Optimal-Tax-7577 says:

Could be also meal prepping, one cooking session and now there's food for the rest of the week for the host family.