'AITA for thinking my ex-GF should move out after our breakup?'
"AITA for expecting my ex-girlfriend to move out after she broke up with me, even though she has nowhere else to go?"
SnapNo51 writes:
I (27M) have been with my girlfriend Megan (26F) for four years, and we have lived together for two of them. We live in a house I inherited from my grandmother. Megan quit her job a while ago to pursue her master’s degree full time because her bachelor’s was not opening any doors. I have been supporting her financially and emotionally while she has been in school.
To be clear, I never resented that. I wanted to support her goals and was proud that she was pushing forward in life. Her program is intense, and she is even taking summer courses. I work full time and also take care of the house, which means some things slip through the cracks.
I cook, clean, and try to keep things in decent shape. It is not perfect, but I genuinely do not think it is bad. I would comfortably have friends over without worrying about the place looking or smelling off. I am not an amazing chef, but I know my way around the kitchen. Most of the time, it is just basic dinners.
The past couple of months have been hard. Megan’s stress levels have been through the roof, and tensions between us have grown. She has been unhappy with how I clean or cook, saying I do not meet her standards. I understand that she is overwhelmed, but I felt like nothing I did was ever enough.
I still tried to be patient and supportive, but things hit a boiling point and we had a big argument. Megan broke up with me. It hurt, but I honestly think it was for the best. We were clearly not making each other happy anymore, so I questioned what the point was in continuing.
Here is the problem. Now that we are no longer together, I think it is fair for her to move out. She does not agree. She says she has nowhere else to go and that if she is forced to leave, she will have to drop out of her program. Her mom and stepdad live a nomadic lifestyle in an RV, and she does not have friends who can take her in.
She did receive a decent amount of money from her grandmother when she passed, but she used most of it to pay for her tuition. I know she was not careless with it, but now she is tapped out and stuck.
I understand that this situation is difficult, and I do not want to see her crash and burn. At the same time, I do not think I should have to keep living with someone who broke up with me.
I have already given her 45 days to figure something out, even though legally I am only required to give her 30. She is now saying she wants to work things out, but to me it feels more like panic and desperation than a real desire to fix the relationship. I do not hate her, but I do not think it is healthy for either of us to keep living in this limbo. So, am I the a*%$ole for expecting her to move out after she broke up with me?
Here are the comments from OP's post.
peakpenguins says:
NTA. "She doesn’t agree" Tough stuff. Expecting her ex-boyfriend to continue supporting her is wild. You gave her 45 days, that was generous enough. If she doesn't leave by then, file for eviction.
bumpsquirt says:
NTA. She ended the relationship. That comes with consequences, like moving out of *your* house. Compassion is one thing, but you're not obligated to provide free housing to an ex who chose to walk away. Forty-five days is more than generous.
AtlantaDave998 says:
The gall of someone to exist because of someone else's charity, and then bitch about how they give it. You're not the a^&#ole but she's an enormous one and you're good to be rid of her. Kick her out after 30 days like the law requires. She probably should have thought of this before breaking up with her meal ticket.
Fabulous-Solution157 says:
To financially support an ex girlfriend is crazy to me. Why on earth would you do this? She broke up with you. She doesn't like you anymore. From what you've shared, everyone is reading that she is only with you for the money. She's using you. It's time to know your worth and move on. Letting go is hard. It won't feel good to say that you have now changed your mind. She isn't good enough for you.