'AITA for telling my ex's best friend that her behavior is the reason we broke up?'
I told my ex's best friend that she's the reason we broke up.
Character-Feed4266 writes:
I (28F) just eloped a month ago with my husband. Before meeting my husband, I was engaged to Jack (28M, fake name), and I left him two years ago. The reason was that he would always, always pick his two best friends' Paul and Wendy's (fake names) side over me.
Paul thought I was making Jack boring, and Wendy had a problem with everything. She hated my clothes (I'm South Asian and tend to dress a bit too modestly), and my job, as it was too taxing, and spared no occasion to passive-aggressively tell me that I was boring and uptight.
Wendy even made our whole engagement about her and Jack's friendship. And when I was mad, Jack defended her. She even barged her way into most of our couple trips and if I protested, she said I was trying to alienate Jack from his friends.
Jack always defended her and told me I was overreacting. Ultimately, I broke up with him and moved to another city for work. Wendy egged my car, and Paul left rude texts. I thought that was it.
Two days ago, I got a call from a mutual friend of mine and Jack, and she said that Wendy desperately wanted to meet me, as she is in my city. I initially told her no, but she said that Wendy had been harassing her, and my husband advised me to go.
So I met her at a café, and Wendy started by telling me how disappointed she was that I didn't tell my old friends that I had gotten married. I told her that our old friends proved their loyalty to me when they chose Jack during our breakup.
Wendy then started to tear up on how Jack misses me, how he hasn't dated since I left, that I broke his heart, and that he still loves me. I told her Jack was not a man fit to be married. All those years of gaslighting came back to me, and I told her that she was the reason I left.
Her constant intruding in everything and the fact that Jack had no backbone is the reason he was unhappy. She is the one who cannot see him with another woman and always wants him for herself. That she dared to confront me told me a lot about her character.
Wendy started to cry and left the table. I paid the bill and went home. But later, two of my old friends told me that I could have been kinder to Wendy, as Jack refused to talk to her when Wendy went home and told him what I had said to her.
I told her off, I said that Jack never acknowledged Wendy's behavior even though I told him my issues with her many times, and now I didn't care. But I am starting to feel more guilty, as I think I could have handled this maturely. My husband says I'm right, but now I feel that I ruined Jack and Wendy's relationship. AITA?
Here are the top comments from the post:
mlk154 says:
You told the truth and the truth hurts sometimes. If Wendy didn’t want to hear it, she shouldn’t have reinserted herself into your life. NTA (Not the A%@$ole).
brokencappy says:
NTA. Don't worry about Wendy. She is the one who acted poorly in the first place, and tried to inject herself once again into Jack's personal life - and yours. If she didn't want the truth all she had to do was mind her own damn business.
fubar_68 says:
NTA. You dodged a bullet with him. He won’t make a good husband with that behavior.
Primary_Afternoon_46 says:
NTA! She requested the meeting and ditched on the bill. Are you in the Pacific Northwest by any chance? That’s the only place I’m aware of where people go to restaurants without intending to pay.
What do you think?