Woman goes against tradition when naming her daughter, family wants her to change it.
I went against family traditions in naming my child and now everyone is upset.
SunnyLite922 says:
I (25F) had my first baby with my husband (25M). Our daughter is named Calla to honor my grandma, who loved Calla Lilies and always thought Calla would make a pretty name. My husband and I wholeheartedly agreed with that, and the name seemed perfect for our little girl.
The choice to name her Calla instead of Elizabeth, my grandma's actual name, was a controversial one among my family. You see, there are pretty much only 3 or 4 names for each sex circulating within my family.
Everyone is named after everyone, and always the exact same first name, and usually the last. It's a pain in the butt and not something my husband or I wanted to keep up.
My grandma even hated it. My grandpa was a very domineering man, and he chose to name their kids names that already existed in his family. She had zero say, and she hated it. I remember complaining to her one day that I hated sharing my name with four other family members I saw all the time.
She told me every person deserves their own name, and she never liked how our family had to all have the same names. This is when I also learned how hard my grandpa was on her and how he basically treated her poorly and made decisions for her when they were married, which was pretty much pressured by both their families.
She was the one who told me about honor names being more special if you don't use the actual name but something about the person or what they loved. So maybe a virtue name based on a virtue for the loved one or their favorite flower or plant, place they loved, or their birth month/stone.
We lost her two years ago, and it was awful. My husband adored her too, and she adopted him as a grandkid when we were kids (he and I were best friends before we became boyfriend and girlfriend). For both of us, it made sense to honor her and do it the way we felt was better but also the way she felt was better.
My family has really pushed the idea that we were wrong to name her something weird that is not Elizabeth, and they say I should not say we honored grandma. I never asked for their opinions, but they gave them and would not stop giving them and insulting the choice we made.
So I snapped and told them my daughter's name is none of their business, so they should keep their unwanted opinions to themselves. They told me there was no need to be rude and I should be willing to hear honest feedback from people who love us. They claimed naming is very much a family business in my family, and I should also know and respect that. AITA?
Here are some of the top comments from the post:
Ckelleywrites says:
So NTA (Not the A%#hole). Calla is a beautiful name and you should be able to honor the grandmother you loved any way you want. She is your daughter, not your family’s, and she’s the one who has to live with the name so good on you for not letting them push this bizarre “naming is a family business” narrative on you.
MelTorment says:
NTA. It’s a beautiful name and the background is beautiful, too. It sounds like your grandma would be so happy with this honor.
ruby_ragdoll says:
Definitely NTA. Only you and your husband have the right to name your child. Naming babies is not "family business", what the hell does that even mean? That is so stupid.
You didn't name her anything offensive or anything so they can keep their opinions to themselves. Why would you want 15 people named Elizabeth in your family? That's just confusing.
What do you think? Should OP be okay with her family's disparaging comments about her daughters name, or was she right to tell them it's none of their business?