'AITA for telling everyone my family therapist 'fired' my dad and his wife?'
"AITA for telling others about the family therapist firing my dad and his wife?"
Slamberone writes:
My mom died when I (16) was 11. My dad remarried last year. I didn't like it, and I acted up. I still don't like it, full disclosure. But I was a terror and made life harder for them. I felt like Dad betrayed me and my mom by marrying again—and so fast, too. But my biggest issue was that they expected her to slot right in like she was suddenly my parent and someone who got to make decisions for me.
It was stuff like giving me new chores, telling me how to dress and what I should eat, where I could and couldn’t go, trying to make me explain my homework to her, and expecting to review it. I hated that kind of thing. I would get so mad I’d scream at her—and at Dad when he backed her up. So I’d sneak out, be rude to them, ignore her, and do other stuff like that.
My dad tried talking to me. But he had talked to me before he even met her. He made promises about how it would be just us until I was ready to move out. He promised me he needed a lot of time before he could even think about dating again because he loved my mom so much.
Then, suddenly, he was already dating someone, and they were getting married. I was still 15 and couldn’t just leave. And not only that, but he was acting like she was now my parent, too? I felt like that wasn’t fair. Hell, date her and keep her from moving in, but clearly, they’d already talked about her being a parent once she moved in—they were on the same page about that.
When things got so bad that Dad was worried I’d run away (and I did consider it—I even stayed out all night sometimes), he told us we needed family therapy. Strike one in family therapy was that Dad and his wife refused the therapist’s suggestion that each of us get solo sessions, too. They only wanted group sessions.
Strike two was how they would talk over me when I was asked what I’d be okay with or what I’d like to see. The therapist said that if I, the teen, could listen, then so could they.
Strike three was Dad arguing back against the therapist and his wife calling her useless. Dad said she wasn’t giving good advice and that he didn’t need to consult me on who could or couldn’t come into our home or help him parent me. He said he didn’t care if he sounded like an a^# to me. He had decided his wife deserved equal respect and authority.
Strike four, which was the final strike, was that they refused to compromise. I already had. I stopped being so disrespectful and getting into so much trouble. I still ignored my dad’s wife a lot because I couldn’t handle talking to her the way she talked to me, but I wouldn’t go anywhere without asking, I didn’t stay out all night, and I stopped calling her names. But they refused to even discuss the idea of her not being my parent.
The therapist even told me that if she could get them to agree, it would be something we could revisit and talk about more over time—that my dad’s wife might end up with some parental-like authority eventually. But they said she was already my parent and they weren’t going to discuss it. They told the therapist she was supposed to make me get on board with that.
So the therapist told them they were wasting her time and said she wouldn’t see all of us anymore. She did offer to keep seeing me since I was willing to work with her, but my dad said no way, so now none of us are going back. They’re pissed that she “fired” them. I found it hilarious.
I told my friends, I told different family members, I told the neighbor, who Dad used to tell all our business to. And now Dad hates it. He told me I’m trying to humiliate them and that it’s personal, not public. I told him if he could tell people our business, then so could I.
He told me I was enjoying it too much. Then we got into another fight. But hey, I just went into my room instead of sneaking out. Now Dad and his wife are blaming me because his side of the family is giving them s&$t for getting fired from therapy. AITA?
Here are the top rated comments.
writing_mm_romance says:
Sounds like your dad is willing to throw away a future with you for this woman. I'd tell that's exactly what he's doing, and when I turned 18, I'd be gone from his life and let him end up sad miserable and alone.
MommersHeart says:
Imagine being such a mess, your therapist discovers the teenager is the only adult. They were correct to quit. NTA.
JamieJamis says:
NTA!! There's a lot of disrespect, miscommunication, manipulation, and abuse of parental power going on. It's very telling of your character that, even though you had been acting out, within a year you settled down and tried to compromise in a respectful, mature way—something they should have done, too.
Yes, you lashed out, but it doesn't sound like you truly did anything wrong. Sneaking out and name-calling? Sure, not great—but that’s mild compared to what some kids have done and will do.
Stay strong and safe! And always, always remember: respect goes both ways. If it’s not reciprocated, you don’t owe it. Keep your dignity, pride, and confidence. Grey rock them—that’s absolutely the right move here!
No_Worker_8216 says:
NTA. Can you go live with a family member for a few months, years? It would allow you to finish school in peace? Running away will never be the solution. You have to find a safe living environment.