'My fiancée was accused by her sister of cheating on me. She swears her sister is sabotaging us.'

"My (28M) fiancée (30F) was accused by her sister (29F) of cheating on me. She swears her sister's sabotaging our relationship. I'm questioning everything. How do I move forward?"

I'm (28M) having a real fight with my fiancée (30F) right now. I've never felt so unsure in our relationship. I need an outside perspective. Some context, we're college sweethearts. She's always been there. She's my first love and best friend. She's my other half atp. We're in the thick of wedding planning.

My fiancée pretty much has the same friend group from college. I get along with them, but they're mostly her friends. Our most consistent fight is with one particular friend (30M) who I'll call Caleb. I'm not upset about her having a guy friend. My issue is the lack of boundaries and respect. This dude doesn't know boundaries, nor does he respect our relationship.

He's always out of pocket, giving lingering hugs or finding some excuse to touch her, and he just hovers. He gifted her jewelry once for her birthday. Even during dates he'll hit up her phone. He looks like a guy who's waiting to come off the bench.

I've expressed my concerns about him. For the most part, my fiancée brushes me off. She'll say I'm being insecure, that he's her oldest friend, and that I should trust her. Recently, my fiancée and her sister/maid of honor (29F), who I'll call Kat for clarity, had a bad falling out.

I only knew some nasty stuff was said, and that Kat had accused her of being a bridezilla and a bad sister. They've fought before, but never anything like this. My fiancée kicked Kat out of the wedding. The other day, Kat reached out to me about my fiancée being untruthful. She claims that at the group's New Year's Eve party, my fiancée made out with Caleb at midnight and later left with him.

Usually my fiancée and I spend NYE together, but I couldn't get the time off this year. Apparently Caleb was laying it on thick with my fiancée the entire party, and she entertained his advances. My fiancée ignored Kat's attempts at talking her down. She said my fiancée said it was her "last New Year's before lockdown," lockdown referring to being married.

It was a lot to process. My initial instinct was to shut Kat down. Despite our issues with Caleb, I did trust my fiancée, but I couldn't ignore how much Kat's story matched my doubts. That night, we were supposed to FaceTime at midnight, but she was ghost. She was ghost that whole night, and she's been weird ever since. Idk then right after the party, she's been implementing boundaries with Caleb.

Kat admitted she initially covered for my fiancée. She pushed her to come clean before the wedding, and that's the real reason they fell out. She felt I deserved the truth. I didn't say much. I was too numb to really feel anything. I didn't rush to confront my fiancée, but she could tell I was off and kept asking.

When I did confront her, she was all over the place. She went into a whole Kat rant, but I told her this was her chance to tell her own story. She asked me to promise to hear her out before confessing to flirting and the kiss with Caleb but swore nothing else happened and that she didn't refer to us getting married as lockdown.

I asked her why Kat would tell the truth about her making out with Caleb, which alone thoroughly crossed the line, but lie about everything else. She insists Kat's trying to sabotage our relationship and that she's a jealous brat. She said the kiss meant nothing. She was caught up in the moment. I'm the one she wants to be with.

She promised to do anything to regain my trust, including cutting Caleb fully off. She said we're starting our lives together, we're what matters, and I shouldn't let Kat come between us.

I wasn't receptive to her. We fought, and I told her I needed space to think. Ever since, she's been super affectionate. She still swears she didn't hook up with Caleb and that Kat's sabotaging.

But I can't ignore what I already know and the possibility of everything else Kat said being true. My world has crashed down. The wedding's all set. It's around the corner. I feel so numb. I'm in love with my fiancée. She's my best friend, but I'm questioning everything. Idk what to believe anymore. I feel like an idiot. How do I move forward with my relationship when I'm lost as hell?

TL;DR My relationship with my fiancée has blown up after her sister accused her of cheating with her close guy friend on New Year's Eve. My fiancée confessed to kissing him but denies everything else.

She swears her sister's trying to sabotage our relationship. We fought, and I told her I needed space to think. Ever since, she's been super affectionate. Our wedding's around the corner, and now this mess. I'm questioning everything. Idk what to believe anymore. How do I move forward with my relationship when I'm lost as hell?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Campustour wrote:

Even if she's telling you the truth, please tell me you're smart enough not to marry somebody after they made out with somebody else at a New Years party when you weren't there. Like, come on man. That's enough. That's more than enough. What happened after? Does it even matter?

Like, even if she'd realize her mistake mid makeout, and instantly called you, confessed it all, and apologized, I'd still tell you to at least push the wedding out. But she didn't. She did it, and hid it so confidently you had no idea until told, then tried to BS you, then admitted to just the makeout?

My dude, I know that deep down, you know the truth. And I know you don't want to spend your whole life like this. The pain of calling it off is so much less than the pain of a marriage to a cheater. Even if you don't break up, for the love of all that is good and holy, do not legally and financially enmesh yourself with this person.

OP responded:

I'm pushing the wedding off. I can't go through with it right now. I'm just dreading what's become of everything and having to face people's questions about why. There are people who took time off they couldn't afford so they could attend. I feel bad.

CuriousOrange22 wrote:

Textbook trickle-truthing. She’d admitted to only as much as she can’t reasonably deny, but no more than she thinks you’d be willing to forgive. Your would-have-been sister in law has done you a solid and your gut is telling you the truth. It’s going to hurt like hell, but not as much as if you stayed. Walk away.

no_passe_825 wrote:

Brother brother brother. Listen man. Let's be honest. she 100% hooked up with him that night. I Will bet you money it wasn't even the 1st time . That's why he was comfortable enough to tough her in front of you and buy her jewelry. I will guarantee you if you tell your fiancé that you want her to take a polygraph test she will decline.

She will gaslight you and turn it into you not " trusting". She absolutely doesn't regret it or have remorse. She never planned on telling you and her friend group supports her cheating behavior and helps her hide it. If you think she will actually cut off her AP please think again. She will just hide it better. She got sloppy on NYE but she will be more careful next time.

If she truly regrets it then she will absolutely take a polygraph and admit to friends and family she cheated and is trying to earn your trust back. please think hard before marrying a cheater as divorce is expensive. Do you really want to be 2nd guessing every time she is late or out if she is hooking up with him again?

Tell her you are getting an STD test and refuse any intimacy until she gets a clean STD test and a negative pregnancy test. I will bet you lunch the sex was unprotected. Be careful brother.

Posterbomber wrote:

You know you believe the sister, the sister is telling the whole truth. If all it was was a kiss that meant nothing she would have fully cut Caleb off long before her sister told you about this. Don't put pressure on yourself because of a wedding date. A simple "she cheated" will get you out of that.

You may love her but she's not your best friend. If she was, Caleb wouldn't exist in her life, no attention he ever gave her, no amount of platonic friendship would have been exchanged for making her bestie (that's you) uncomfortable.

You do know what to believe, you are not lost. She cheated and is lying about it. That's it and that's all. You cannot move forward. Don't be manipulated by her being super affectionate. She's just doing that to keep you from the truth.