'AITA for telling my fiancé I don't want him to give a speech at our wedding?'
"AITA for telling my fiancé I don’t want him to give a speech at our wedding after what he did at a friend’s?"
No_Map7761 writes:
So I (22F) am engaged to my fiancé (23M). We’ve been together since college, and yeah, relationships are hard, but I really love him. However, he has the bad habit of trying to be funny when his words aren’t.
A few weeks ago we were at his friend’s wedding, and he was asked to give a toast. I was proud at first because he’s not usually a serious guy, but then he turned it into a stand-up routine. Instead of just saying nice things about love or marriage, he made the whole speech about jokes involving our relationship.
He said something like, “Well if you think marriage is hard, just look at me and [my name]. We fight like cats and dogs, but somehow we still haven’t ended things yet.” Then he said he only proposed so I’d stop nagging him. Everyone laughed, but it felt tacky and honestly kind of humiliating.
I didn’t say much after because I didn’t want to ruin the night, but I told him later that it hurt my feelings. He just shrugged and said I was being sensitive and that people thought it was hilarious.
Now, with our own wedding coming up, he keeps saying how he can’t wait to do his speech and “roast” me in front of everyone. I told him no, he’s not doing a speech at our wedding if he’s just going to make jokes about me or us.
He got mad and said I was trying to control him, that I don’t “get his humor,” and that I should trust him. But I honestly don’t trust him not to embarrass me or say something degrading. I told some of my friends, and they said speeches are supposed to be fun and that this isn’t mine to control.
Others, who have seen the way he talks in public, said my concerns are valid. So now I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. So, AITA for telling my fiancé I don’t want him to do a “funny” speech at our own wedding?
Here are the top comments from the post.
Decision_Famous says:
He better have some redeeming qualities or why are you marrying. YTA to yourself for seeing him as a red flag and running far away you deserve so much better then to settle for that at 22.
Marshwiggletreacle says:
Sounds like he has very little respect for you so in this situation YTA for still talking about marrying him. He will still be worse after, he will find other situations in your life together to take the mickey out of and tell the world.
thatkittykatie says:
He will make insulting jokes about you at your wedding. You will be humiliated. He will blame you for being upset. You will cry at your wedding. You will resent him for the rest of your life. NTA, don’t marry him. You’re so young, relationships don’t need to be this hard, I promise.
TheTiffanyProblem says:
I might be a bit slow but why are you planning to marry someone you can't trust to give a wedding speech that won't hurt your feelings?! You might be an AH to yourself here, love.