'AITA for refusing to let my fiancée's parents walk her down the aisle at our wedding?'
"AITA for refusing to let my fiancée’s parents walk her down the aisle after what they did?"
lerma___ writes:
My (29M) fiancée (27F) and I are getting married in a few months. She has always had a complicated relationship with her parents, especially her father, who was very controlling when she was younger.
He constantly belittled her choices—from her career to her friends—and even tried to sabotage our relationship in the early years because I "wasn't good enough" for their family.
A few years ago, her parents disowned her after she refused to break up with me. They told her she was "dead to them" and blocked her everywhere. It was brutal—she was devastated—but we moved forward and built a life together.
Fast forward to now: they suddenly reached out after hearing about the wedding through mutual family, acting like nothing had happened. They said they assumed she would want her father to walk her down the aisle, and my fiancée, being the kindhearted person she is, is considering it because “he’s still my dad.”
I, however, am not okay with this. I reminded her how they treated her—how they threw her away when she needed them most—and now they just get to show up like the perfect parents for a big, emotional moment? I told her I don’t want them at the wedding, period. She thinks I’m making it harder than it needs to be and that it’s her decision to make.
Her parents, of course, are acting like I’m the bad guy now, saying I’m trying to “ruin their reconciliation” and "take their daughter away from them.” So, AITA for putting my foot down?
Here are the top rated comments.
iknowsomethings2 says:
Get couples counselling asap and an individual therapist for your fiancée. She has some serious people pleaser issues and has been abused by her family so much that no matter the behaviour she accepts it. Stand firm that you need couples counselling before making a decision.
_let_let_ says:
So they disowned her, erased her from their lives, and now they’re back because of wedding pictures? That’s not a reconciliation, that’s PR. If your fiancée wants to give them a second chance, that’s her call, but she deserves an actual apology, not just a walk down the aisle for their ego.
cthulularoo says:
The wedding shouldn't be the reason nor the place to have a reconciliation. But putting your foot down will burn bridges. Even though I would consider what they did bridge burning already. Your fiancee doesn't though, and unless she agrees with you it's going to be tough going forward. NTA for standing your ground, but if I were you, I'd postpone the wedding until you guys are on the same page.
agnes-lab says:
They disowned her when it suited them, now they wanna be ‘proud parents’ for the aesthetics? Absolutely not. This isn’t a Hallmark movie, it’s real life. If they want a reconciliation, they gotta earn it, not skip to the good parts.