'AITA for demanding my fiancé forbid his parents from joining us on our honeymoon?'
"AITA for demanding that my fiancé's parents change their plans to have a vacation at the same place as our honeymoon?"
Impressive-Garlic488 writes:
My fiancé and I have our wedding coming up in April. We had brainstormed for a while about where best to spend our honeymoon. We went over the more popular and well-known places but then landed on a more offbeat destination that I felt would truly be a great place for us to start our life as a married couple.
I've been looking forward to it just being the two of us. I know he has a really hectic work schedule, and we were going to make the most of this. A couple of days ago, he told me that his parents had been impressed by how hyped I was about it and were planning on going there for a vacation too, largely overlapping with our dates. They're staying at the same hotel as us.
I was livid. They can go any other time—why now? He said he had suggested that, but his mom said they had taken time off for the wedding too, and it worked well into their plans. Also, since we're going to be going back, it'll allow them to maybe see us a few times before we leave.
I was almost in tears, I was so angry. He tried to reassure me, saying they had promised it would be two separate things and that they wouldn’t be inserting themselves into our honeymoon. They want us to enjoy it, and they’d be doing their own thing.
I want to believe it, but I know his mom. I like her as a soon-to-be MIL, but she can be very clingy and routinely laments how far he (and now we) are from them, so I just have a feeling the two plans are not going to be as independent as he thinks they'll be.
I vented about it to my parents too. My mom agreed with me that this isn't right. My dad is more on the fence about it—he doesn't think everything is ruined. I've demanded my fiancé make them change their plans.
He says he asked them to, they promised to do their own thing—what can he do, tell them he doesn't believe them and call them liars? I messed up here and said if that's what it takes. He got quiet. I realized that was too much and sincerely apologized for crossing the line. This has been eating me up. I was envisioning a certain type of honeymoon, and this happened. AITA?
OP responded to some comments.
AshlynM2 says:
NTA. As much as it sucks the only way to truly secure an IL FREE honeymoon would be to cancel your plans and go somewhere else. Not ideal, but there’s NOOOOOO WAY you’re not going to ‘accidentally bump into them’ the whole time they’re there.
OP responded:
A few other comments have said this too. I truly appreciate what you're saying and I know I'm overreacting here, but this makes me want to bawl my eyes out.
KoolaidKoll123 says:
NTA. I would personally change the hotel, or the dates, or both, or stay at a different hotel the dates they're going to be there. Also - a no cell phone policy, so they can't get ahold of you. But to be honest, this is a husband problem and not an in-law problem. He should have shut her down point blank at even the suggestion of going to your honeymoon destination at the same time.
OP responded:
Dates can't be changed really, like I'd be ok with that but I know it wouldn't work for him, he had to move around some work stuff for us to finally land on these dates. A different hotel could work but this is like a coastal area and I really wanted a hotel close to the beach but I'll start looking for some others too.
This hotel had really good reviews too. And because its not a huge city or something, if people want to meet, its not too inconvenient which sucks because what if they decide they do want to meet. And what if we meet on the beach, I'd have to change what I plan on wearing too. I'm just really hoping they change their plan because quite honestly if I'm the one that has to change plans, I might not end up being a good DIL.