'AITA for pestering my parents about why my fish is missing after they pet sat?'
"AITA? My fish is missing and my parents immediately went nuclear."
WetLitterbox writes:
This past Labor Day weekend my husband and I went to Georgia for an event. Together we have a small zoo in our house, so we asked my parents to watch the menagerie. What is most relevant here is that one of my cats is very shy, and that I also own an aquarium.
Early in the trip my parents told me they couldn’t find my shy cat. No big deal, he’s excellent at hiding and doesn’t like anyone except me and my husband. I reminded them of this, since I had told them before. Other than that one issue, they didn’t mention any concerns.
Fast forward to when I came home, I realized I couldn’t find all of my aquarium fish. I wasn’t too worried at first because the ones I didn’t see are usually stealthy and I often lose track of them until they come out of hiding.
Two days went by, and by then I had accounted for everyone except one rainbow shark. At that point I became worried, so this morning I flipped all the decor over and searched by hand. There is simply no place for him to be in this aquarium. I checked the filters and all the tubing too.
So today I called and asked my parents if they had seen anything happen. Fish are delicate, so while I would have been sad, I wouldn’t have been angry if something had gone wrong.
I asked once if they noticed anything directly, and then I offered a few scenarios that could have happened: maybe a cat managed to reach in while they had the lid off and were distracted feeding, maybe the fish jumped while the lid was off, or maybe the water seemed fouled at some point as if another fish had eaten him.
My mom said no to everything. Then she told me they had found a dead rat in my house and had put it in the kitchen trash. At first I thought they might have mistaken a toy for a real mouse, until she sent me a photo. It was definitely real, which was odd since we’ve never had one inside before.
At that point I asked my mom if my dad had noticed anything, and my dad got very upset. He started yelling that he didn’t want to talk anymore about the fish, and then said something about how my cat had disappeared for two days. The cat wasn’t missing at all, he had just been hiding in his usual cabinet, which is completely normal.
The conversation had been civil until that moment, but when he continued, I told them they were being rude and I hung up. Since then my mom has messaged me, saying I was rude for making her feel like I thought she was lying, and now I don’t know what to do.
The water levels in the tank are fine, so I can’t see how the rainbow shark could have been eaten without it showing up in the tests. It’s like he disappeared completely, which doesn’t happen.
And if it somehow did, I need to know how so I can prevent it from happening again. I’ve tried texting my mom off and on since then, but it feels like she’s being deliberately dismissive of my concern for the safety of the rest of the fish.
Here are some of the comments from the post.
CarbonationRequired says:
I can't decide between N A H or E S H here because them blowing their tops about it isn't great, but like... they said they don't know. Do you have some kind of precedent to not take this at face value? Them caring emotionally about the fish or not isn't really related to their awareness or lack thereof of one fish in a tank dying.
piper-nooooooo says:
Soft YTA. You have 7 cats and an aquarium? That's a lot of responsibility for someone not used to it. I'm a former vet tech and I would say no if someone asked me to pet sit that many animals.
Swirlyflurry says:
You pestered and pestered and pestered because they didn’t give you the answer you wanted. I would have lost patience with you too! YTA. It sucks that your fish is missing, but asking over and over again isn’t going to change the answer.
Kishasara says:
YTA. It’s…a fish. They jump. Inexperienced caregivers can easily miss a jumper and having a cat can guarantee a fun snack in the dead of night. Your parents don’t know what happened to your fish because nobody saw it happen.
Your repeated questions about the missing fish after they gave you an answer, becomes harassment. They did you a favor while you were out of town and I’m sure they now feel attacked.