'AITA for refusing to pay my friend back for dinner because he owes me hundreds of dollars?'
"AITA for refusing to pay my friend $60 that I owe him?"
bluenymous writes:
I (30M) and my close friend ‘Jake’ (29M) have been close for years. Over the years, I’ve lent Jake money so many times. I’m talking $50 here for gas, $100 there during a trip, even once $300 when he needed to buy an ‘emergency’ PS5.
I never really kept track because I trusted him. He paid me back some of it over time, but he still owes me a decent chunk, which I’ve never bugged him about. He would occasionally ‘gift’ me skins in the games we play in an attempt to balance the books.
A few weeks ago, Jake covered my $60 when I left my wallet at home during a group dinner. I told him I’d get him back, but life got busy, and I totally forgot. A few days ago, he texted me, “Can you send me that $60 from dinner?” I apologized for forgetting and said I’d send it that night, to which he replied, “I shouldn’t have to chase you for this, man.”
That rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t say anything at the moment, but it really started to bug me. I thought about all the times I’ve lent him money and how I never pressured him to pay me back. I’ve never once sent him a passive-aggressive text or made him feel bad about it.
So, I didn’t send him the money right away and instead told him, “Look, I get that I owe you $60, and I’ll pay you back, but let’s not pretend this is some one-sided thing. You still owe me hundreds, and I’ve never hounded you about it.”
Jake didn’t take that well. He said it’s not the same thing because I never asked for my money back, so it’s on me if I didn’t care enough to get it. So now he’s pissed at me, thinking I didn’t pay him back intentionally and saying I’m deflecting to avoid paying him back, and that I’m being a stupid friend.
I feel like I’m in a weird spot here. Yeah, I owe him $60, and of course, I’ll pay it back. But on the other hand, his reaction feels so hypocritical given everything I’ve done for him financially over the years. AITA? I paid him back like I always intended to do.'
Here are the top rated comments.
GiddyUpKitty says:
Jake is a hypocrite, and also an unblushing user. Time to make him grow up, OP.
Puzzleheaded-Age-240 says:
NTA - I would be furious at his dig. Even before the dig I was on your side, but that pushed it way over the edge. Are you sure this is a friendship worth maintaining?
OP responded:
We have been friends for over 10 years, moved to a different country for our higher education together, and are really close to each other’s families. So I would like to think, yes.
Savings_Telephone_96 says:
Just say, I shouldn’t have to ask you for the money you owe me because, as you told me, “I shouldn’t have to chase you for this, man.”