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'My GF is upset with me for posting pics of the snowstorm on social media before I sent it to her. AITA?'

'My GF is upset with me for posting pics of the snowstorm on social media before I sent it to her. AITA?'

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"AITAH? My (M20) GF (F20) is upset with me for posting pictures of the snowstorm on social media before I sent it to her."

My (M20) GF (F20) is upset with me for posting pictures of the snowstorm on social media before I sent it to her. Was I really the bad one here? I’m autistic and I don’t really get certain social cues so I wanted to ask the internet to see what people would say.

So I’ve been in an LDR relationship with my girlfriend for 8 months. Our time zones are totally different, so our sleep and wake up schedules are different, but we still manage to call daily for hours.

We chat on a Chinese social media app called WeChat, and it has a thing called WeChat moments, where you can post social media kind of posts, like with a picture and a caption, or just pure text, and only your friends can see the posts.

I made it when I started learning Mandarin and I use it to communicate with my girlfriend, members of the school’s Chinese society (I’m the only foreigner in it), and other Chinese friends and Mandarin learning foreigners that I meet.

Today, I got to witness snow for the first time in years in my area, and I was so excited. I went out with two guys around campus and enjoyed the accumulated snow. I took some photos with them and of myself, as well as photos of the scenery.

I was initially going to send it to my girlfriend first, but I remembered a time before that me sending a bunch of photos ended up waking her up, and I also thought about waiting until she wakes to send the photos. Perhaps that was dumb on my part. I posted on my WeChat moments of some pictures of the snowy scenery around campus and gave a brief caption.

A few hours later, my girlfriend woke up. She asked me if it snowed, and then she saw the WeChat post that I made and deleted the message initially. We talked and it seemed normal at first. I even sent her a bunch of photos that I hadn’t posted (I only put a few up). Afterwards, she suddenly said “I thought I’d only be able to see this all on your WeChat moments.”

I was confused, and then she said “next time, can you send me the photos before you post them on your WeChat moments,” and said that she felt very sad that I posted them first before sending them to her, and that she’s more important than the people who can see my WeChat moments and so I should send it to her first.

However, this made me think though—there have been times before where she posted something on her WeChat moments and didn’t immediately share it with me first.

For instance, a live show that she went to—well, she told me that she went, but she only posted the video in her moments and not to me. There was another time when she put an image about something sh-tty in her job, but she didn’t send it to me immediately. So now I’m just confused.

I just don’t know if I’m TA here, or if she’s just overreacting. I didn’t immediately send it to her because she was asleep, I was afraid of waking her up like once before, I was thinking about showing it to her when I woke up; I should add that I only posted a few pictures, the majority of the pictures I took I didn’t post, and I sent them all to her.

Commenters had lots to say in response.

IWantaponytoo wrote:

Your GF is being ridiculous. You've done nothing wrong. NTA.

OP responded:

But I just don’t know how to simplify how I feel and explain it to her. I’m autistic so I’m bad at getting across how I feel and I’d appreciate it if you could at least give me some pointers.

SparklingLunaa wrote:

NTA, she's overreacting, if she wanted that she should've done the same, like she would send it to you first before posting, plus you had your reason, you didn't wanna wake her up. You know what, she's making a big deal out of nothing.

nothtatgreatrtynow wrote:

NTA. This is pretty immature behavior on your girlfriend's part even for her age.

I would recommend sitting down with her and communicating that a healthy relationship involves being happy for your partner's happiness without feeling the need to be proven to be at the centre of your mind and focus at all times.

You saw snow. You were happy. You thought of her. You shared pics. She could have been happy but she made it about herself. Tell her she has nothing to be insecure about or whatever the hell this is about. Just like you were not insecure in the previous examples. I am AuDHD. Happily married for than a decade.

One of the primary reasons that I am happily married to a NT is because he loves and wholly accepts me for who I am including my inability to read or conform to social cues. A healthy relation does not involve walking around on eggshells or trying to change who you are...not that its required in this case. The whole situation is trivial and your girlfriend needs to grow up.

Good_Research3327 wrote:

She's upset because you took her into consideration? Upset because you had fun and posted about it just like she does? Upset because you didn't do something for her that she doesn't do for you? She's overreacting, bud. Don't sweat it, it will pass. I would keep an eye out for other similar behavior, sounds like she has princess syndrome.

OptionNo7192 wrote:

It seems like your girlfriend is overreacting and being a bit immature in this situation. There's no social cue you missed, this is a non-issue that she's making bigger than it needs to be. Her response is overly controlling and not really fair, especially considering there were moments before when she didn't share things with you immediately either. It sounds like she's blowing something small out of proportion.

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