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"AITA for telling my GF she needs to bring more to the table if she wants to be a SAHM for our dogs."

"AITA for telling my GF she needs to bring more to the table if she wants to be a SAHM for our dogs."


"AITAH for telling my girlfriend that she needs to bring more to the table if she wants to be with me?"

My girlfriend and I were having a discussion about our future, and she used the phrase "what do you bring to the table." I said that my job made our lifestyle possible, that I did my share of the household chores, and that I always treated her with respect.

She said that was the bare minimum. She also contributes to our budget, which is true—about 10% comes from her. She’s in school, so she doesn't work much. I didn't mind because I thought the plan was for her to contribute more once she graduated and got a job.

Apparently, that’s not the plan. She wants to be a stay-at-home mom—to our dogs, since we are child-free. So, as a joke, I said that if all she brings to the table is companionship, then I would expect it all the time.

She didn’t take it that way. She said I earn enough for both of us and that she would be doing lots of other things for us. She felt that thinking of her as just for companionship was demeaning. I asked for examples, but she couldn’t give any except for her half of the chores.

So, she wants me to work, support her, and do half the housework in return for what exactly? Taking care of our dogs? I said that wasn’t going to happen. She could either contribute fairly, or we were not going to work because I do not want a one-sided relationship.

I also want to save money. Right now, I’m subsidizing her life, so I’m not putting as much into my retirement as I would like. She said she wasn’t serious about staying home but is angry with me for what I said. I was just trying to make light of what I thought was a ridiculous idea.

Here are the top comments:

Disossabovii says:

Wait, she want to be at sahm, with no child and do..... half of the chores?! HALF????

SewRuby says:

Wait. She's telling you she wants a future with you, but is asking what you bring to the table like she's interviewing you for a job? Also, who asks their partner "what do you bring to the table?". If you're not sure why you're dating me, then why the f^#k are you dating me?

I'm hella confused about what she was hoping would come out of this conversation. "you don't bring anything to the table, but should definitely fully support me even though I'm of able mind and body". F^@$ing what, man?

Banned-for-based says:

He is the table, 10% and some chores is a joke. I guarantee that 10% is less than he is contributing to her education. She's sitting at -50% contribution asking how she can get that to -100%.

MissThingToday says:

NTA. If she can't actually articulate what she will bring to the table in the future, then that's the actual issue. If neither of you meant what you said, then taking offence is just a deflection away from the root problem.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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