'AITA for refusing to visit my girlfriend because she got sprayed by a skunk?'
"AITA for refusing to visit my girlfriend because she got sprayed by a skunk?"
My [21m] girlfriend [20f] has been having a hard time lately and we had planned to spend some time together tonight to hopefully cheer her up.
Well, apparently her bad week has just turned worse, because as of about an hour ago, I was informed she got herself sprayed (twice) by a skunk today that she stumbled into behind the shed in her back yard.
She's been texting me that she's totally ill and nauseous, she apparently ran straight to the shower and tried to wash it off but only succeeded in making it worse, and she threw up repeatedly in the shower. Now she's trying to order some things that are said to help but in the meantime is totally miserable.
I've tried to comfort her but I said "I guess we should reschedule then huh?" She said "what, no! I need you now more than ever, you're still coming tonight, right?"
I told her I wasn't sure how I felt about that, I want to comfort her...and I've never actually smelled skunk, I moved here recently and there aren't many skunks where I'm from. But that it sounds pretty intense, and I thought I've read that it clings to whatever it touches, I'm not sure I would want to come if it meant I would stink for days...
She got upset, and said I'd promised, and that if we don't spend tonight together it'll probably be over a week till we can next see each other and that she needs to spend time with me. She said "I'm the one who literally can't get away from the smell, however bad it is for you, it's worse for me, just put menthol in your nose if it's really that bad," etc.
I'm sort of torn, I want to be there for her but I also don't want to overestimate my ability to deal with a smell like that, especially when I don't really know what to expect WIBTA if I don't go?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
You should bring her things that she needs to help wash it off. But you wouldn’t be an a%$#ole if you didn’t stay.
NTA. I don't you should go. Skunk spray stinks. Bad. I've never met someone who's able to handle it and by the time you realize how bad it is, it'll be too late to get away.
I worked wildlife rehab and just had to go near where a skunk had sprayed (it missed me by 10+ feet), and I guess just some of the residual molecules on the wind drifted over and got me. I stunk for a week. Nothing I did helped at all.
As a zookeeper, skunk musk is definitely in the top 5 for worst smells. 🤮 🤮 Don't go!
If she really ran back into the house and tried to rinse it off in the shower...that was a really bad move, I'm afraid she's sort of screwed now.
Skunk spray is made up of two main groups of chemicals. The first is thiols. These are for immediate incapacitation of the threat. They're extreme volatile compounds that will envelop the whole air around you and make you feel like you're in a thick cloud of sulfur, rot, bad gas and burning rubber that you can't escape from. They water your eyes and choke and gag you and the smell makes most people vomit.
But the thioacetates are worse. These chemical compounds don't really stink. They're not super volatile, so they're not just going to fill the air and choke you. They just sink into your skin, pores, hair, sweat glands. Really good about getting into fur. But even in human skin and hair, it'll get deep in there.
The problem is...they react with water to produce a ton of thiols.
I had a coworker get sprayed once. 6 months later she smelled fine, but she still wouldn't jog with me, because her sweat would smell like pure skunk. Not just mildly either, as in she would puke. On warm days she had a bit of an odor even from far away for a few more months.
Hope she's alright, but you don't want to get this stuff in your pores.
Your post is one of the most tragic I’ve ever read: both hilarious and awful at the same time. Poor woman. But no way would I ever ask my SO to come round and comfort me if I were sprayed by a skunk.
Well I guess you've shown her how much she can depend on you. YTA