'AITA for throwing away all my GF's stuff after she ghosted me?' UPDATED

"AITA for throwing away all my GF's stuff after she ghosted me?"

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month.

Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Aloreiusdanen wrote:

Box it up, send a text or call the sister to come pick it up.Also inform her that you aren't ever interested in your ex reaching out to you in the future. The fact she dumped you and blocked you, means essentially she is dead to you. No need to talk to a dead person.Then go find a real woman who doesn't play 15-year-old girl games.

anothersip wrote:

This is the way. Unfortunately, some people choose to end otherwise healthy relationships in really wild ways. The blocking is actually a good thing, IMO. It's a good indicator that things are done and nothing else needs talking about. Move on for your own mental health, OP. Love yourself and do something nice for yourself!

squirlysquirel wrote:

Put it all in a box and message her sister to come and collect it within 14 days (or 30 days if that is the law for abandoned items in your state). Be the better person so you never have to look back and regret how you acted. If it was just clothed then I would say chuck it...but memories of a deceased loved one, give them a chance to collect it.

whatthewhat3214 wrote:

Be sure the sister knows the grandmother's mementos are among the items you have (i.e., this isn't about the gf's clothes and toiletries or whatever) bc they'd be important to the sister too.

ChucoKid wrote:

Sorry she is doing you this way. It's dirty. But you should box it all up and have a neutral third party drop it off. Then move on and never let that b#$ch back in your life.

The next day, OP jumped on with an update.

I boxed up all of my ex’s stuff yesterday, drove over to her sister’s house this morning and dropped the boxes off. I got a text from her sister a couple minutes ago where she thanked me, was sorry for what I was going through, and texted a bunch of other stuff. It was a really long text and I couldn’t bother reading past the first couple of lines.

She was still typing something as I saw the three dots, but I couldn’t be bothered anymore so I blocked her. And so that is that. Time to pick up my pieces and move on I guess. Oh well, thanks for the advice. Going to try and move to a different state soon and start afresh.

The internet was invested in the update.

montybo2 wrote:

D*mn bro that's hard. Can't imagine a 5-year relationship just ending cold turkey like that. This is a really rough thing to happen. My advice: I know you said you're probably gonna move but in the mean time...clean your place - reorganize your room and furniture and stuff.

I've done this every time I've had a break up and for some reason it really helps. You're in a new phase of your life so have your surroundings reflect that.

PhD_going_MD wrote:

Just so you know, your previous girlfriend will hit you up because she wants to “talk” or “clear things” and may say it for closure. It is for her not you. Do yourself a solid and don’t bother with that s#$t.

Substantialpressure3 wrote:

If her sister apologized to you, then she knows something is up with your ex. It wasn't you. Boxing up all her stuff and getting it out of your place is the best thing you could have done. Now there's no reason for her to come by. I would change the locks.

She left, her stuff isn't there, and she doesn't need access to your place. If you rent, I would let the landlord know that she left and doesn't live there anymore, if she tries something weird in a few months. They may have you sign another lease without her name on it. If she left, there's no reason for her to have residency rights at your place.

Send any mail back "not at this address." Whose name are all the bills in? If her name is on the electric/internet you don't want her cutting it off. Change all your passwords, and make sure nobody can make changes to any of your accounts. If you have any joint bank accounts, take your money out of there and get a bank account that doesn't have her name on it.

Unusually_scented wrote:

"She was still typing something as I saw the three dots, but I couldn’t be bothered anymore so I blocked her."

Good for you.

I have theories about why the gf ghosted you, I'm sure that you do too. But none of that matters. Move on and live a great life.

theother1guy wrote:

Take your time brother. There are going to be some long and dark nights. Don't fall into the alcohol or drugs. It's okay to feel the pain. It makes you human. Don't hide the pain through dr*gs. Don't let anyone tell you what to do or what to feel. This is your experience.

Please don't cut contact with close family and friends. Pay attention to those who care for you when you need it the most. Those are your angels.