'My husband almost let our newborn get hit by a car. My toddler saved him.' UPDATED 3X

Some experiences are too scary to process alone.

"My husband almost k-lled our baby and my toddler saved him."

I need to share this story because I'm still shaking from what happened. I'm 25F, been with my husband (30M) since 2018. We have a three-year-old girl and a newborn boy. But tonight, things almost took a turn for the worse. My husband has always had trouble paying attention, but I never thought it would come to this.

Our neighborhood is weirdly laid out, with cars zooming by at crazy speeds at all hours off the day I was folding clothes when I heard our toddler screaming, "Dad, help!" That tone made me drop everything and sprint outside. What I saw made my blood run cold – our newborn in his stroller, careening towards the busy street. I screamed and ran to him barely stopping the stroller in time.

My baby girl's hands and knees were scratched up because she tripped trying to run after the stroller. I snatched up my baby, heart pounding, and scanned for my husband. He wasn't watching – he was chatting with neighbors, completely oblivious. The anger I felt was unlike anything I've ever experienced. I stormed up to him, shouting in disbelief.

He looked shocked at first, then realized what almost happened. The apologies and tears came pouring out, but it was too late. I couldn't wrap my head around how he could be so careless, so blind to our toddler's screams and the stroller rolling away. I packed up the kids and left, staying with my parents. They're on my side, but my husband keeps texting, begging forgiveness, calling it an honest mistake.

But I can't shake the terror of almost losing my baby because he couldn't focus for a single second. My baby girl got hurt in the process because he couldn’t pay attention. I almost lost my son because he couldn’t pay attention. I can’t stop crying. I feel so guilty. I wish this all never happened.

Sorry it’s short I just want to hold my babies and I can’t stop shaking every time I think about it. What if I was just one second late would I have been planning a funeral?. And the reason I left the house instead of him was because I hate that house I don’t feel like it safe for the kids with all the traffic and I was right It’s my husband‘s work house. I can’t be running either.

I had a C-section less six weeks ago A lot of people are saying why wasn’t I watching the kids I was doing their laundry like a parent. He takes them for walks to have bonding time with them. He literally created this by himself This has never happened before how was I supposed to know and people saying why didn’t I get him checked out?

I’m NOT his mother he is 30 years old, I’m sick of people acting like I have to parent my own husband while I literally have a newborn a toddler and I’m still healing from a C-section that I teared my stitches from when I ran to get my baby I don’t care if it was his ADHD, the court wouldn’t care either. If he ki*led my child, he would’ve went to pr*son, either way.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Specific-Yam-2166 wrote:

Okay - he was 100% wrong and I’d be livid just like you. However. I’m a little confused about the situation…like why was your baby just in a stroller unattended? Why did the stroller randomly go into the road? Since it sounds like you were at home, is this maybe something y’all normally do just to have a place for baby to sit out front of your house when your toddler is playing outside?

And maybe was a freak accident? I’m going to be honest as a mom - most of us have stories of near death experiences with our kids. We can be naive and stupid and expect a little child to have more awareness/survival skills than they do. When my son was two we had a HORRIBLE experience with an escalator and I still have times where I can’t sleep because of it.

We are all idiots when it comes to parenting, because how can you know until you live it. And seriously, like every parent has one of these moments (unless you’re one of those insanely lucky ones). I still really don’t understand the whole scenario of what happened but to me it seems he really has remorse and feels terrible, and once you go through something like that you never forget it.

So if he cares and loves your kids, he’s devastated and has learned a hard lesson. I don’t know that your response was the best but get why you did it in the moment. But I think you guys have a serious talk and maybe look into moving if possible? I wouldn’t go straight to divorce like Reddit loves to preach. I think there is a solution here. And so sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s literally the worst feeling in the world!

OP responded:

Hi love, let me just clear it up for you so I was sitting inside in the lounge room and there’s a huge window behind the TV that was a little open so I could hear outside that’s when I heard my toddler scream for her dad to help when I was outside he was standing on the neighbour's driveway.

I assume that he must’ve had left the baby literally on the road because there was no possible way that it would’ve rolled off like that, and my toddler was playing with the neighbour's cat before she noticed her brother was rolling away when I confronted him about it. He tried to explain but he just kept stuttering I still don’t know what exactly happened.

I don’t know if he didn’t put the brakes on the stroller. If the wind blew him away, I just don’t know. My neighbour contacted me and had asked if I wanted the security footage because his wife is 100% on my side so I’ll probably find out once it gets sent to me.

procrastinatador wrote:

I want to aknowledge that this is a horrific situation, but saying "I don't care if it was his ADHD" isn't going to fix anything, and will probably only make things worse. Talking and thinking about it like he intentionally tried to k*ll your child isn't either. With ADHD you actually do not register things like this at all sometimes.

Life expectancy for those of us with ADHD is actually significantly lower because many of us end up, often accidentally, k*lling ourselves. It is not the same thing as carelessness, but learning about ADHD a little deeper can help you guys be safer. Understanding how my ADHD works and using different than standard precautions, like my brain needs, has actually most likely saved my life.

Lie out what you want from him. That's probably that he get his ADHD better under control whether that be through prescription medication or more homeopathic method, that you get a different place if possible, that he not take your kids out in your front yard without you, etc. Also, neither he or the neighbor noticed, but you heard your kid from inside? Something seems off here.

Were your neighbors just watching the stroller roll towards the street? Was your husband on the other side of your house where he couldn't see the stroller? Were you already walking outside as this unfolded? I'm trying to understand better what was going on here and why your husband or the neighbor did not notice, but you did from inside?

People with ADHD tend to be incredibly good and quick to act in emergency situations, so this is especially weird. I'm absolutely not accusing you of leaving anything out or anything, but asking you to think about what your husband and the neighbor were doing that neither noticed?

THAT smells fishy. This is a horrible situation. I lost a pet due to the inattentiveness of ADHD but I can't imagine losing or even nearly losing a child.

OP responded:

That’s why I’m waiting for the footage it doesn’t make sense how this all happene.d I don’t know how to explain my house, there’s a huge window in the lounge room it was open a little. I can listen out, the neighbour's house is 2 houses away, we are at the end of the street near the main road. When you first walk into my house, on your left there is the lounge on the right of the kitchen.

When I got up I couldn’t run that fast because I’m still healing. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense when I ran outside the neighbour's wife was running for the stroller but was still far away and the neighbour was helping my little girl off the road. That’s all I seen I’m just waiting for a response from them my husband was just standing there hands on his head doing nothing.

theonenamedlingling wrote:

I f#$king screamed when I read what happened. Are you okay? Like did you get any more damage to yourself? You literally JUST had a baby. What the f#$k was your husband doing?

Like being outside with small children especially on a busy street should be treated like watching babies swim because anything can happen in an instant. I hope you are okay and also…idk but do you all have cameras in your house? I wonder how long your husband was talking to the neighbor…

OP responded:

I tore my stitches from the C-section and had to go to the ER while I was there, I made sure my baby girl got her knees and hands bandaged up The crazy thing is, I didn’t even realise I was bleeding and until I was in my parents car. My mum pointed it out. She panicked, took baby boy. Back to their house and my dad took me and my daughter to the hospital.

The next day, OP shared an update.

The neighbour's wife sent me the footage, and I really can’t just wrap my head around it, so my husband was walking with the stroller and my toddler was in front of them when they passed the neighbour's house. My neighbour was outside, washing his car, and my toddler saw his pet cat and stopped to go pet it, so my husband. Stopped.

LEFT MY BABY ON THE ROAD he didn’t even bother locking the wheels and walked all the way up the driveway not even bothering looking back at the baby he had his back face to him for about five minutes before the stroller just suddenly started moving. I think it’s because the road is on a hill kinda or it could’ve been the wind. My toddler never went near the stroller.It couldn’t been her.

The stroller went down the road and my toddler. That’s when she started screaming and running for it when she saw. If the neighbour started running after my daughter when she tripped, he tried to pick her up that’s when the neighbour's wife’s car comes into frame and she stops and starts running back to the way the stroller is coming after that you can’t really see anything because it’s all out of frame.

But you can hear all the commotion my husband just stood there the whole time hand on his head with a blank stare on his face he didn’t even do anything when our toddler was crying from hurting herself he only started crying when I confronted him. What do I do I genuinely do not know what to do. I’m panicking. This was never the life I wanted for my kids. I don’t understand why he was in standing there.

I have not even gotten a text or a call from him since I got sent the video it’s just been silent I just can’t get the sound of my daughter's screams. That’s the sound that no mother wants to hear. I can’t explain in the moment, but it felt like my blood went cold. and I just felt pure fear I never wanna watch the footage again.

The internet was stunned by the update.

lynypixie wrote:

This is just pure horror.

That toddler is a f**king MVP! I swear she will never leave her sibling’s side.

domingerique wrote:

It is. And I can’t believe so many people were talking about the ADHD like this whole situation wasn’t his fault because he has it. You don’t get excused for endangering your child because you have ADHD, you have to take extra precautions to take care of your child despite your ADHD. Wow those comments made me furious.

sandwitch_horror wrote:

My husband and I both have ADHD. So does my daughter. Our house is pure chaos sometimes. Never f#$king ever has anything even remotely close to this ever happened to us.

We forget to close gates, lock doors, grab our phones off the hood of cars...so we take extra measures to remember shit. Extra checks for stuff for example. I could never forget I have a whole a*s baby who I leave in the middle of the road...I also wouldn't forget to react.

jupitersely wrote:

I think leaving the newborn baby on the road, instead of bringing him up the neighbors' driveway with everyone, would be enough for me to divorce my partner.

Afterhoneymoon wrote:

There is no recovering from this after the video footage proved how he was negligent thrice in almost an instant- the initial stop and walk, not hearing/seeing the toddler, and not doing anything after all of that. And he still hasn’t even communicated with her???

ramblinator wrote:

I'll bet he hasn't contacted her because he's afraid of her response. I don't know if it's an ADHD thing or an avoidant thing, but it's like, you're afraid of the outcome of the conversation, so you just don't have the conversation. If he never calls her then she can't tell him what a s*&t father he is or that she wants a divorce.

If he just ignores the problem maybe it will just blow over and everything can go back to normal. I'm obviously heavily speculating, based on my own experience with an avoidant personality. But even if all of that is true, it doesn't excuse anything. It's still f#$ked up that he hasn't called her at all.

stacity wrote:

I can’t believe a three year old reacted quickly to her baby brother and had the wherewithal to sprint into action as opposed to their father. He failed his family here.

riflow wrote:

I'm still horrified at how if she didn't notice, her little brother would almost certainly not be around anymore. Like. I remember how little my nibling was at that age, I am absolutely crushed and horrified at what her dad made her have to experience. Let alone what it did to OP, who should've been on bed rest due to her birth related injuries.

Three weeks later, OP shared another update.

I wanted to give a quick update on the situation. After reading through the comments, I decided to go back to my husband. Many of you pointed out that if I left him, we'd end up with 50/50 custody of our kids, which I couldn't bear. So, I made the difficult choice to stay, even though my love for him has faded.

My plan now is to tough it out until our kids turn 18, and then leave.

I'm terrified of getting pregnant again, especially since I'm not allowed to use birth control or get my tubes tied.

My parents, who could offer support, are moving away, leaving me feeling trapped. Despite everything, my husband tries hard to make things right. He still treats me with affection and goes out of his way to create special moments for our family. Seeing him bond with our newborn and our daughter fills me with conflicting emotions.

I know I can't stand being with him, but I can't bear to separate him from our kids either. He was so happy when we came back home but I can’t stand even looking at him I feel some guilt because he still calls me by my nickname looks at me like I’m the only girl in the world (besides our daughter).

He still continues our traditions like when the kids are sleeping he will go get ice cream and our favourite snacks and sets up a fort on our bed to watch movies on our laptop. Even though I'm sacrificing my happiness, my priority is ensuring my children's safety and wellbeing. It's a tough situation, but I'm doing my best to navigate it for the sake of my family.

The internet did not hold back their thoughts on the situation.

Livid-Finger719 wrote:

Why aren't you "allowed" birth control? Like it is a health thing or is a him thing? And if you have video evidence of him being neglectful like leaving a stroller in the middle of the street, I'm not sure how accurate those 50/50 custodial agreement comments can be. I'd still look into it if it's possible.

mibonitaconejito wrote:

"Not allowed to use birth control"

I'm trying to convey compassion, but who the actual fk told you you can't use bc?

Is it better to not use birth control and bring a child into a marriage with parents that don't love each other and into a world where that's going to be the framework of their future relationships?

I truly am not judging you.I'm just asking you to please think about this. Because nobody thinks about what a kid's life is going to be like in the future. All they think about is them being a baby.

I feel for you because I know that must have been so hard for you

But please try to think about what is right to bring a kid into this...and love YOU DESERVE BETTER ♡

MadamnedMary wrote:

I think I remember your post, your husband let the stroller unattended and it rolled down the street and your daughter tried to stop it but she couldn't and scrapped her knees. I'm not in your shoes, so if you think to stay for now it's best, then good luck.

At the very least demand you no longer live there, you don't know if your newborn would be a runaway toddler, my friend had one of these children, the little guy was a ninja, went to the streets numerous times in a blink if an eye, like he had a death wish, very scary stuff, so reduce the dangers for your children, please I beg of you.

ETA: What are your plans to keep your children safe other than stay? As rude as it seems you won't be enough, you need to sleep and relax, as he has proven he's not to be trusted like at all, maybe it was an accident but he's too easily distracted, would be terrified he has his zoom outs while driving, would you trust him to pick up your kids from school and don't remember or forgets?

Or forget the children in the car on a hot day? Maybe those are problems to face when the time comes, but you can't trust this guy with your children if he goes to get diagnosed and make a plan to improve maybe, but it's a big if, I remember some people thought he might have ADHD, demand he sees a specialist. Anyway, good luck moving forward.

Six weeks later, OP shared another update.

As you can see from my previous post I did go back to him. It was quite literally the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. But I felt like I really had no choice: no money, family moved out of state, a lot has happened the past couple of months.

So, it turns out my husband started taking meds for his ADHD a couple of weeks before I was due to give birth to our son. He took my kids on a walk to cover up the fact that he was also on m-th. He took my kids to meet his dealer apparently every time they went for a walk, looking back at the footage now. It makes so much sense because the way he was talking to the neighbour before.

Everything happened, he was kind of leaning to the side. I talked to my neighbour, and I asked him if he knew that my husband was on dr-gs. He said he didn’t, but he noticed that my husband looked a bit off recently. His wife works at a rehab clinic.

One time, after a fight where I had to flee with the kids to the neighbour's house, she pointed out that the way he was acting was the way that people acted with withdrawals. My neighbour and his wife ended up helping me book a flight to my parents.

I’m currently with them right now, and I have spoken to a lawyer that my parents are gonna help me pay for. I thank all the people from my original post that told me to keep the footage. It's going to come in handy, my husband keeps sending me videos of him sh--ting up and doing other substances he keeps saying are going to fix him.

He sent me a video of him standing in our kids room. And he was just screaming at me, saying that it helped him cope with his ADHD, he took a knife and stabbed both of our kids mattresses. I am not going back.

He even cut up the side of my bed. There’s a comment from my previous post that has been sitting in the back of my mind and has been bugging me I think you know which one it was it was by.

Their comment 👇👇

"Saying "I don't care if it was his ADHD" isn't going to fix anything, and will probably only make things worse. Talking and thinking about it like he intentionally tried to hurt your child isn't either. With ADHD you actually do not register things like this at all sometimes."

"Life expectancy for those of us with ADHD is actually significantly lower because many of us end up, often accidentally, hurting ourselves. It is not the same thing as carelessness, but learning about ADHD a little deeper can help you guys be safer. Understanding how my ADHD works and using different than standard precautions, like my brain needs, has actually most likely saved my life."

"Lie out what you want from him. That's probably that he get his ADHD better under control whether that be through prescripton medication or more homeopathic method, that you get a different place if possible, that he not take your kids out in your front yard without you, etc."

"Also, neither he or the neighbor noticed, but you heard your kid from inside? Something seems off here. Were your neighbors just watching the stroller roll towards the street?"

"Was your husband on the other side of your house where he couldn't see the stroller? Were you already walking outside as this unfolded? I'm trying to understand better what was going on here and why your husband or the neighbor did not notice, but you did from inside? People v ADHD tend to be incredibly good and quick to act in emergency situations, so this is especially weird."

"I'm absolutely not accusing you of leaving anything out or anything, but asking you to think about what your husband and the neighbor were doing that neither noticed? THAT smells fishy. This is a horrible situation. I lost a pet due to the inatentiveness of ADHD but I can't imagine losing...even nearly losing a child…"

WTF It baffles me that you can even compare losing an animal to losing a child. You made people with ADHD sound completely unreliable and like they can’t do anything. You made them sound very helpless. Saying the life expectancy thing was completely uncalled for as well.

I bet many people with ADHD reading that completely disagreed with you judging from all the comments and YouTube videos I’ve seen on my post I don’t know if you’re projecting that you lost a pet from your “inattentiveness of ADHD” if you were letting things d-e in your care, you need to get stronger help.

And no I was not going to “lay out” what I want from him he’s the one that started mixing his meds and was high off his mind every time they went out for a walk. No, I’m not ablest I was in a very vulnerable state when I first posted my original post all I was doing was looking for help and advice but all I got was where was you what were you doing?

"Why weren’t you with the kids? Why didn’t you get your husband checked out?"

I was healing from a C-section get that through your heads!!!! I genuinely hope that everybody that said something horrible about me and my original post has to get cut open and then 4 days later is forced to run down the street.

I gave him another chance like you ALL SAID in my original post you seen what happened. Stop using ADHD as a excuse I genuinely believe that if he had -lled my child, you would’ve have defended him AND NO I DID NOT KNOW HE WAS ON DR-GS‼️‼️‼️

And all the people that reached out to me -- I’m going to be forever grateful for all of the parents with ADHD that didn’t make me feel like it was all my fault. And all the stories that you guys have shared with me made me feel so seen because I know exactly how it feels I hope everybody is doing well.

I wish I could give you a big hug I genuinely wish I could send gift baskets I would. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry about that comment that that person made. I know you guys are all not like that you guys are genuinely intelligent from all the comments that I’ve read. Thank you guys enough.

Commenters continued to offer support to OP.

Civil-Influence7601 wrote:

I am so sorry that you went through something so stressful and traumatic. I hope you and your children are safe.

ittybittymomma wrote:

Ok, wow, him st-bbing the beds is insane. I’m so sorry that you had to experience something like that. Good on you for leaving and being brave enough to end it, it’s not always easy to do.

Boring-Cycle2911 wrote:

🫂 I saw your first post and I definitely was one of the people saying ADHD is NOT an excuse and this is very concerning. I’m so sorry you found out your ex was intoxicated in such an awful way. I’m very relieved to hear that you left and are safe with your parents.

Everyone deserves safety. 100% keep the footage. Not sure of the laws where your parents live, but if you file for child support, I think you have to give him access to the kids so be aware of that.

Sending you much ❤️

PrettyG216 wrote:

As much as we don’t want to acknowledge ADHD’s influence in all this, husband turning to other substances to self medicate is peak ADHD impulsive behavior. If there’s one thing someone with ADHD is gonna do, it’s self medicate. I wonder if he thought meth would do the trick since so many people think m--h and adderall/stimulant meds are the same thing.

They are not although they are both controlled substances. I’ve seen several tiktoks of people talking about how they knew something was off about themselves because when they tried M--h as a recreational drug, they became more productive and their lives got better.

Those videos always rubbed me the wrong way as someone with ADHD because I understood that there might be someone out there struggling with the condition who would see them and actually risk trying it just to be able to function better. I’m sad to see that could have potentially have played out here.

I wouldn’t have blame you one bit for getting out of there after the first incident because what your husband has going on can never be fixed, only managed. He didn’t manage any of it when it mattered. ADHD isn’t meant to excuse the poor behavior and choices. Having ADHD means we have to do the actual work of not allowing our condition to negatively impact the lives of those around us.

If we can’t do that and we know we can’t do that, we have to be selfless enough to remove ourselves from situations we’re we would cause harm. Unfortunately, there are a good many people with the condition that are extremely selfish and won’t make the hard choices that would be in everyone’s best interests because it would leave them in the position of being alone.

Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean we can’t see things for what they truly are. Your husband’s decisions reek of a selfishness that can’t be blamed on ADHD since once he saw the damage he’d caused he didn’t do anything to get himself in order to be better for his family.