'My husband and I intervened on a bad first date, 'alpha' man couldn't take a hint..'

"My husband and I intervened on a bad first date, 'alpha' man couldn't take a hint.."

My husband and I went to grab ramen dinner and we were seated next to a couple on a 1st date. We overhead it because they were so close to our table. He was obviously much older, in his 40s and she looked like she was in her early 20’s, trying to be polite.

He kept saying ridiculous things like “are you going to finish the whole dish?” And “when we are together, you won’t eat like that.” (She was probably a size 0-2 already). He half listened to her answers, kept trying to talk about what he would let her do or not do and “teach” her “when” they’re together (not if, when).

At the end he said something like “I’ll pay, because I want to show you I value you.” (It was like a $10-15 ramen and obviously a first date). Then, he stands up at the hostess stand until someone sees he didn’t just wait for the waiter like a normal person to ask for the check and pays. He said more but the worst was when he walked her out.

He takes her to his big truck and pops the hood to show her his truck engine. FOR ONE HOUR. ON A MONDAY NIGHT! My husband and I continue to keep an eye on her through the window to make sure she’s actually ok but they keep talking.

Eventually we head out and see they’re STILL there, but now she’s sitting in her car and he’s standing in her doorway BLOCKING her from closing the door/preventing her from leaving and still trying to talk to her. I keep sharply turning around as I walk to my car until she notices me and we finally make eye contact to be like “do you need help?”

She sees me, and finally blows up on him. He says something like “I’m not blocking you from leaving” and she yells “well you’re standing in my doorway so I can’t close my door!” And he finally steps away and walks back to his ugly truck.

She drives off and we go in the same direction to make sure he didn’t follow her car out. I think back and partly wish I had done more but was proud of this stranger for sticking up for herself.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Zealousideal-Ad6358 said:

Hey…just wanted to say thank you for being a decent, observant human being.

[deleted] said:

Ugh, hopefully that was their last date. On the one hand, wanting to say something in those situations is always strong. On the other, its for the best you didn't, he sounds like someone who would like to start a scene. You spoke up when it was most important though, when she was trying to leave.

Novel_Ad1943 said:

So glad you guys kept an eye on her and checked in when she needed it most. The fact you guys noticed probably helped her stop questioning that inner voice saying GTFO! Hopefully that feeling sticks around when his endless calls and texts come in.

I can shrug off immature silliness, but predatory behavior and tearing someone down like that makes me rage and is so pathetic to see - I hope her seeing your faces reminds her she can do SO much better!

PerspectiveKookie16 said:

Thank you! I’ve been that girl and it isn’t a safe feeling. My angel casually asked “Are you (insert name she overheard him say) that used to watch my cousin Amelia’s kids?” while giving me the “Are you ok” look.

I said “only a couple times“ and “hope they are well." The date vibe changed after that. Looking back, I was no longer some vulnerable young woman in over her head/easily intimidated. I was someone who had context and loose connection with a real live adult who was present - less prey for the predator.

SalisburyWitch said:

What a horrible date! There’s no wonder he’s single.

[deleted] said:

I’m sure that girl will never forget you for helping her get out of that HORRIBLE situation!!! Thank you for watching out for her!

Background_Nature_75 said:

Thank you for keeping an eye out for her! As soon as she saw you had noticed, she knew it was okay to confront him. Kudos!