'AITA for saying 'no' when my husband asked me to stop wearing earrings?' UPDATED

"AITA for immediately saying 'no' when my husband asked me to stop wearing earrings because he said they make a woman look older?"

My husband (41m) looks significantly younger than me (43f). Yesterday, my husband said he would like to talk to me. He told me loves me, and that nothing will ever change that. He said I'm an amazing mom. And more sweet things.

Then he mentioned how earrings makes a woman look older. He asked if I could stop wearing earrings because they're making me look older. In less than 20 seconds of him asking, I said "no." I don't think I have ever rejected a request from my husband so fast. I usually think things though for a longer period.

My husband said he's disappointed that I answered no so quickly. I got annoyed with him and told him he has the deal with the fact that he has an old-looking wife. He said he didn't want to deal with me when I'm like this, and he walked away. AITA?

This is what people had to say to OP:

annaxk4 said:

That, coupled with him not wanting to “deal with you” when you’re “like this” is wild. He said something stupid and rude, you reacted way better than most would, and he decides to then act like you are the unreasonable one? Def NTA but husband sure is

Crazy_Bee2 said:

Ive never heard this one before. Now I want to see what earrings you wear 😂

OP responded:

The most common is white diamond stud earrings.

EfficientSociety73 said:

NTA. So, earrings make you look old? Ok. I guess I look extra old. And so does my teenage daughter because we both have multiple piercings. Not a single part of that argument makes sense. There has to be more to it than just earrings…

OP responded:

I don't know. I had always thought earrings makes girls and women look younger.

And EldritchDreamEdCamp said:

NTA. He does not get to police your wardrobe. Also, any guy who gets upset that women are people and we age is a fool and an AH.

The next day, OP shared this update:

Before the update, I (43f) want to answer a frequent question: My husband (41m) had said on Saturday something about earrings highlighting a woman's face. How it can highlight wrinkles. That's why he said earrings makes a woman look older. To clear up some confusion about how I word things.

He didn't mean that if a girl or woman in her 20s wear earrings they end up looking like a grandma. By earrings making a woman look older he meant just older than if they weren't wearing earrings.

The Update: I (43f) had decided that I shouldn't act like a pushover like I normally do. I decided that I needed to confront my husband about what he said on Saturday. This morning I talked to me. He said he loves me and he said he's sorry that he hurt my feelings. He admitted that finds me less physically attractive then I was in my 20s and 30s. Not only because of my aging but also because of my adult acne.

He said I'm definitely NOT ugly, that I'm still cute. He said he's angry at himself for caring about such superficial stuff. He specifically apologized for asking me to stop wearing earrings. He said he honestly didn't think I would get so angry. I confronted him about other stuff he's said that sounded like criticisms. He said those stuff was just flirting and he apologized for being insensitive.

He told me loves me and he will never ask me to change anything about appearance again. I was honest with him about all the activities I was doing on reddit. He said he's not angry that I reached out for perspectives. He said it's fine if I talk to my family or friends about this. He said I need to feel more comfortable expressing how I really feel.

Something many women will find pathetic, I asked my husband how less physically attractive I am now. He said in my 20s and most of my 30s I was smoking hot. Now I'm a cutie. I asked him what will happen when I age more. What about when I turn 50, then 60, then 70, then 80. He said plenty of 80 year old woman are adorable.

He said he knows he messed up royally but he is asking me to not leave him over this. He said he loves me and will love me forever. I don't know how to feel right now.