'My husband said he want's our daughter to date a real man not a loser AITA for thinking that's mean?'
"AITA for insulting my husband for what he said about our daughter’s bf?"
Key-Jackfruit2552 writes:
My daughter (17F) recently started dating this boy (17M). He is her first boyfriend ever. One of my biggest concerns when my daughter started dating was her getting mistreated—an obvious concern.
However, after meeting her boyfriend at one of his baseball games (she met him through one of her friends in baseball), I realized this was not something I had to be seriously concerned about.
He is genuinely one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Every time I see him interact with the coaches, his teammates, his opponents, my daughter, etc., it is always positive. He is just generally a very soft-spoken and kind individual, always positive and happy. I also say this with no ill intent, but he is fairly short and somewhat tubby, which is relevant to my husband's opinion.
I obviously do not care about this, as he is a good person and clearly treats my daughter well. However, when my husband met him earlier, he did not seem as happy. Once he had left, he told me that he didn't think he was right for our daughter.
He made comments about him not being man enough. I said that our daughter clearly loves him and that he clearly loves our daughter, and that I'm happy she's with someone we know is going to treat her right.
My husband said that he would rather her be with a "real man," not some short little loser kid. I got a little mad at this and said, "What would you rather have him be then? Some big macho man that snaps at our daughter?" He responded by saying that that would be better than some fat pansy.
I told him he was just being an annoying d^#k to the kid for no reason other than he doesn’t think he's "man" enough for some stupid arbitrary reason and that he should be supporting our daughter. He said, "If you're fine with our daughter dating a f%#$ing pansy, so be it, I guess."
He stormed off, and I've been reflecting on it and think maybe what I said was uncalled for. He has his own perspective on these things as a dad, and I should not have started throwing around insults, as that does nothing to fix this issue for our daughter and her boyfriend.
Here are the top rated comments.
itstheloneliestlife says:
So he would rather your daughter be married to a brute tough guy who treats her like s#^t than a shorter chubby kid who treats her well? So appearance is actually more important than character to your husband.
sluttychristmastree says:
ESH (except your daughter and her boyfriend) if you don't nip this in the bud. Stop entertaining this BS. STOP. This is your daughter. Do you really want the number one male influence in her life telling her that her safety and wellbeing is less important than the perception of adequate gender roles? Step up and demand better from your husband.
SneakySneakySquirrel says:
He doesn’t “have his own perspective on these things as a dad,” he’s an overall jerk. NTA but I find it hard to believe that you didn’t know you were married to a bigot after 17+ years.
xxooxxxooxx says:
NTA. Is your husband always this much of a jerk and judgmental about people? Does he treat you well? I only ask because, like you said, it sounds like your daughter has an amazing boyfriend, and I can't imagine why he would be so negative about him. Like, does he feel bad that he's not as kind as this kid or something? Or is he being negative to get her (in a bizarre way) to stop dating completely?