'AITA for leaving my husband behind after he messed up our family camping trip?'
AITA for ditching my husband after he ruined our family camping trip?
Playful-Camel-3225 writes:
My husband and I talked a few weeks back about bringing the kids fishing this past weekend and had talked in specific detail about us needing to reconnect as a family.
He works so often that the kids and I hardly ever see him anymore (I work full-time at home), so the entire point of this fishing trip was to spend time together as a family. As I said, it was discussed in great detail. Our youngest child is 5 months old and strictly breastfed, as well.
We headed out Friday morning to go grab our boat and head to our camp for the weekend. Everything was going fine until about 40 minutes into the drive. My husband got a phone call and started saying things like, "Yeah, I will be there soon" or "What did you bring?" When he got off the phone, I asked him who that was, and he told me "Heath," a coworker of his that I have never once met.
I asked him if he had invited some random dude that I don't know to go on our family outing, and he said he had and that he didn't think it would be a big deal. He also said something about how his buddy wanted to check out the boat and whatever. I've never heard a single good thing about this guy.
I asked him to turn around and bring me and the kids back home. He asked why, and I said that this trip was meant for us as a family to reconnect, as we had discussed in great detail, and that I wouldn't be sitting around awkwardly nursing my baby in front of a man that I do not know and watching over all of our kids while he shoots the sh%t and hangs out with his buddy.
I told him it was messed up that he would even consider this to be a good option, considering that now meant that I would be doing all the parenting alone while he got to be social.
He said that it wouldn't be like that and that he told his buddy that this trip was meant for the kids and that he would have them the entire time, but I honestly just was not having it at all. I know how it would have been because he said this dude brought beer (I asked). So, I had him drive me home and told him to go by himself. He left pissed off.
I ended up taking my kids on my own trip. I rented an Airbnb on the lake for the entire weekend. I brought my kids fishing, swimming, and to the amusement park down the road. We had a good time. I did not have cell reception at the Airbnb, so I didn't speak to my husband outside of texting him prior to leaving, stating I would be gone for the weekend.
When I got home Sunday morning, my husband flipped out. He said that he had only stayed out on Friday until 5 p.m. (so sixish hours) and came home to spend the rest of the weekend with me and the kids, just to find that we had left and he couldn't contact us.
I told him that none of this would have happened if he had just stuck by his word originally instead of making a social hour (with a guy he sees EVERY DAY) out of what was meant to be a family weekend (he also allowed this dude to stay at our camp for the weekend because he apparently invited him to stay the entire weekend anyway). Am I the a^#%ole for anything?
Here are the top comments:
bunnybunny69 says:
He came home to do what. Dinner and bed after spending the rest of the time with a work mate. Slow hand clap for him. NTA (Not the A%$!ole)
Freeverse711 says:
NTA. And good for you for putting your foot down and just not going along with it.
Impossible_Ask_3564 says:
NTA at all. The fact that he never even told you and only let you find out when you'd already left tells me that he was aware that you would not want the friend going and thought he could get passed this by letting you know when it was "too late" Good for you telling him to take you home.
DawnShakhar says:
NTA. Your husband turned a family event into a nightmare for you. You had every right to refuse it. He needs to understand that he doesn't get to change plans for you without your consent. As for your "disappearing" on him - serves him right.
He blindsided you with inviting this jerk to the family gathering, you blindsided him by being non-comunicando. I'm sure you didn't deliberately choose a place with no wi-fi, but you chose a place where your kids could have fun and you could have peace.
I think you should be assertive about this. Tell your husband that this trip was important for the family bonding and he ruined it, and you expect him to organize other family outings to bond the family. Don't let him guilt you.
What do you think?