'AITA for getting upset after my husband said he didn't fall in love with my looks.'
AITA my husband said one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me.
AsleepEmu2557 writes:
I used to be very overweight. When I met my husband, I had already lost 60 lbs and was feeling good about myself. There was a point in time where I finally felt comfortable enough to buy lingerie and wear it for him. He rejected me, and I haven't worn any since. This was approximately four years ago.
We got pregnant, and I gained almost all of the weight that I had previously lost back. I've been working very hard for the past year to lose the weight, and now I weigh less than I did in high school. I'm very proud of this accomplishment.
Anyways, last night we got into an argument because we have a toddler, and he is feeling like he is being pushed aside, which I understand is hard. But I'm only one person, and I work full-time and am the primary parent for everything.
I take care of everything for the house, pay bills, clean, grocery shop, and handle the majority of the care for our toddler. We haven't been intimate for five days, and he is losing his temper because of this? I'm exhausted daily, and by the time our toddler goes to bed, I'd like to relax for an hour and just go to sleep. I wake up at 5 a.m. every morning to get everyone ready for the day.
Last night he claimed that he has never rejected my advances towards him. I corrected him and reminded him of the time he did, which really hurt my feelings. His response shocked me. He verbatim said, "Well yeah, that's because you weighed 100 lbs more than you do now... I fell in love with you for your personality, not for how you looked." I was obviously very upset by this. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.
AITA for not just getting over this? I feel like I'm allowed to be upset by this because I have worked so hard to be healthy for my family, and to have my past weight thrown in my face and be pretty much told that he only wants to be intimate with me now because I've lost weight.
Here are the top comments:
Magdovus says:
Next time he wants to get intimate, tell him that you want the person you thought he was, not the person he is.
Curiousscoop0530 says:
NTA. this is more than just his comment about your weight. while you’re managing work, kid, financials and home - what is he doing? it seems there is a very unhealthy balance in terms of responsibilities and a lack of care and respect in your relationship to overall (on his part).
Scoozie_Q says:
Sorry, but your husband sounds like an a^#*ole. What does he do around the house to help? It sounds like you do everything on top of working full time. He needs to grow up.
OP responded:
He helps, but only if I ask him to do stuff specifically. I don't have time to make him lists of things to do. He is a grown man with eyes that can see that obviously we have a child, and things need to be cleaned up.
What do you think?