'My husband wanted a divorce, until he lost his job...AITA to follow through with filing?'

"My husband wanted a divorce, until he lost his job...AITA to follow through with filing?"

My husband 34 male and I 38 female have been married for 6 years together for 9. We have had our ups and downs but the biggest down is how he speaks to me. I just had our son 1 year ago. When I was 10 months postpartum he was telling ne I am fat and lazy and all I do is take care of the baby and work.

As I still had baby weight on navigating new routines, work and caring for our baby AND 4 other children while working 40hrs a week. On my birthday he demanded I not leave the house or he would divorce me. Just so happened my daughter had an appointment at UCLA for her teeth the morning of my birthday, so I took her. Needless to say, he didn't even say hello to me and slept in his game room.

He has been sleeping there since. It's been two months. He told everyone he was divorcing me, spoke to an attorney and everything before even telling me he wanted a divorce. He told me I was not the prize, I'm almost 40 and have 4 kids 3 who are minors. He said he's the prize, he's in his prime and makes good money and any women would love to be in my shoes and take care of his kids.

He even went as far as inviting his baby mother into the house to visit while I was out. Fast forward, he loses his job and telling me to wait to move. He then starts talking nicer to me and acting different then before. I told him I was still moving out and going forward with separating because his actions did not align with someone who wanted to be with me. It feels more like I'm his only option at the moment.

Now he's going around saying I am a gold digger and leave as soon as he looses his job. He's saying he wanted to try to make it work but I am the one choosing to leave to all his family and friends. So AITA for following through with what he initiated even after he lost his job?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Beneficial-Sort4795 wrote:

Unless those people are stupid, they were also around for all of his pathetic boasting about leaving you- he told all of them about the divorce before he talked to you. So, they know he’s full of shit. More importantly, you’ll have next to nothing to do with any of them once you get that divorce so who gives a damn what they think?

He’s a garbage human suffering from his own karma and you’ll be free of him soon. Please see a lawyer and better figure out what steps you need to take to make sure you leave him with as little money as possible. He can go stay with the family or friends he’s spent the last year (or longer) badmouthing you to. After all, he’s the prize. The prize on their pullout couch. NTA.

lovemyfurryfan wrote:

Now the husband is getting a massive dose of karma straight at him while he thought he could sweet talk OP...ha!! What a joke the husband turned out to be. OP is polished up her backbone & still following thru with the divorce papers...she's not the gold digger while she's been carrying a load. When that weight is gone then her footsteps will lighter as a feather.

knz29 wrote:

NTA - I know this isn’t the route to go for peace, but I’d be LOUD about it too. HE wanted the divorce before he lost his job. Now that he realizes he’s a piece of shit LOSER he wants me to stick around.

Verbally ab-sed while postpartum for ten months straight until he realized he needed a piggy bank. YOU the gold digger? HE doesn’t have a JOB!!! Tell him to go move back in with his parents and you girl, kick rocks! Get out of there!

Anxious-Routine-5526 wrote:

NTA. You're smart for seeing how this new "attitude" is nothing more than a smokescreen. As soon as he's stable with a new job, he'll be right back to treating you like crap. The mere fact he's still trashing you to anyone who will listen says all you need to know. Separate and follow through with filing. There's no benefit for you to remain in this relationship.

NYCStoryteller wrote:

NTA. He said he was done, so let's be done, even if now it's an inconvenience for him. Sounds like YOU are the prize after all, because he's an unemployed AH who's soon to be unable to rent an apartment because he doesn't have a job. Hope his parents live close by and can take him in. Get the divorce. You're going to be better off without him. Get what you're owed.

llampie wrote:

Oh, he's spinning right now...he built up an idea in his head where he was the be all and end all and just found out that he's just lucky. Now that he knows what he's actually worth, he wants to hold onto you,as you are better than him on his own.

So narcissistic. Wow, nah, you're good, NTA. Just remember to tell everyone what a gold digger he is and that he only wants you for security and money on your way out. 100% NTA, leave useless behind.

miyuki_m wrote:

He's realizing that nobody wants an unemployed jackass who verbally abuses his postpartum wife. Leave him and focus on creating a healthy life for yourself and your kids without his toxic behavior dragging you down.