'AITA for not giving my husband more time to become a better father and partner?'
"AITA for not giving my husband “more time” before finalizing our divorce after a year of separation?"
PurpleEverywhere writes:
I (42F) have been separated from my husband (50M) since Oct 2024. We were married for 10 years, and the marriage broke down because he consistently failed to step up as a partner or father. I carried everything: the house, the kids, the bills, the planning, while he coasted and made excuses.
We’ve now been separated for a year, and I told him this was his chance to show me real change. Instead, it’s been the same old pattern: When our son was sick and called him, instead of comforting him or helping me, he just texted me “Savion is asking for medicine.” No reassurance for the child, no follow-up.
When the kids needed to go to the ER, he promised he’d take them but never showed. I was sick myself and still got up at 6am to do it alone. He still pushes boundaries, like asking me to take his mother to the airport after I explicitly told him not to.
He brags about his new job and how confident he feels dressing up for work, but he still hasn’t shown consistent responsibility at home. Now that the divorce is around the corner (I plan to file at the beginning of October), he’s suddenly flooding me with apologies and promises.
He says he just needs more time to prove himself, but I’ve already given him more than enough: 10 years of marriage and a year of separation. So, AITA for refusing to delay this any longer and going through with the divorce?
Here are what strangers thought of OP's post.
Plastic_Many4636 says:
You gave him 10 years of marriage and a full year of separation to show real change, and he didn’t. Waiting longer won’t magically fix the same patterns you’ve already seen. Filing now isn’t cruel, it’s protecting yourself and your kids from more of the same.
Goidelica says:
NTA at all. This is clearly just more of the same. You know what you have to do.
Spoedi-Probes says:
NTA. Tell him, "Once the divorce is finalized he can try to win you back." See how long he can keep that up.
Curious_Baby_3892 says:
NTA. You're getting a divorce for a reason and it sounds like this is one of those reasons. Get it over with so you can finally move on with your life.