'AITA for wanting leave my husband because his mom won't acknowledge me as his wife?'
"AITA for wanting to go back home because his mom won’t acknowledge me as his wife?"
ImpressiveBanana822 writes:
Okay. So. I really don’t know where to start, but this has been messing with my head for weeks now. I’ve been married to my husband for almost a year. We didn’t have a big wedding or anything, just a small courthouse ceremony and a dinner with my family after. His mom didn’t even come. She said she had a “prior engagement.” Whatever.
Anyway, we recently moved into a duplex near his mom’s house because she said she’d “help out” when we have kids soon. That was the first mistake. From day one, she never called me her son’s wife. Not once. She calls me “the girl” or “that girl he brought home.” I’ve literally heard her say to her friends, “He’s just going through a phase.” A phase? Ma’am, we filed taxes together. This isn’t a crush.
I try to be respectful. I bring her food. I invite her over. I even bought her a sweater she kept pointing at during one of her shopping trips. She looked at it and said, “I don’t wear cheap stuff like this.”
I wanted to crawl under the floor. But the thing that really pushed me happened last weekend. We were all at a family dinner. She introduced my husband, his cousins, even her neighbor’s dog, but not me. I was sitting right there. At her table. And she skipped me like I was just some random person who tagged along. Her cousin even asked, “Who’s she?” and she just shrugged.
I pulled my husband aside and said, “This isn’t working. Either we leave or I’m packing my things and going back to my parents’. I won’t be treated like I’m invisible in my own marriage.” You know what he said? “Let’s just give her time.” Give her time? We've been married a year. I’m his wife, not a guest. And I’m sick of feeling like some stranger around the people he calls family.
I don’t want to force him to choose. But I also can’t keep being disrespected like this while he stays silent. So yeah, I told him I wanted to go back to my parents’ place. At least there, I’m seen. AITA?
People responded to OP's post.
tsscaramel says:
NTA. Your husband should have your back in something like this, go home to your own family, and have a serious conversation with your husband about this because this is not a healthy relationship.
ComfortableIce3874 says:
Give the woman her baby back. Get a divorce and find some nice man who isn't still suckling at his mother's withered teat. Do your part for the male loneliness crisis and help him die alone.
Kagome23 says:
Dude, you are SO much nicer than me. She'd have finished the introductions skipping me, and I'd have brightly piped up "Hi everybody, I'm blank's wife. MIL forgot to introduce me because she's going senile and doesn't remember we're married."
purplespaghetty says:
NTA, giving MIL “time” is one thing. But your husband won’t even demand common courtesy?? Sorry, but I think your husband needs to choose, in the very least he needs to talk to his mum. MIL introduced the dog!? And your husband didn’t step up to defend you?! I’d be out of there so fast. They don’t have to like you, but they need to be respectful.