'AITA for giving my kid the same name as some kid on my in-laws side of the family?'
"AITA: In-Laws are upset with the name we want to use for our son."
Pretend-Pea1818 writes:
PLEASE help me and my wife out by letting us know who is the a-hole here. My wife and I have two boys and are pregnant with our third boy. My wife's brother and his wife (let's call them Jack and Jill) have a boy as well. After we announced to the family that we were expecting, the two sisters-in-law asked my wife via text message if we had a name in mind.
This is where things get weird, in my opinion. My wife was like, "Yes! We're thinking of naming him Owen" (not the real name, but let's say it is for this sake). My wife went on to say, "Jill, don't kill us because I know this might add some confusion for y'all!" Neither sister-in-law replied.
The reason it might cause confusion is that on Jill's side of the family (unrelated to us), they have a nephew named Owen. Note that we have never met this kid, and our families don't cross paths like that.
Jack and Jill are upset and went to my wife's parents before talking to us, telling them that they are annoyed and don't want us to name our son Owen because, in their mind, "There's only one Owen in their lives. It would cause confusion for their one-year-old son having two Owen cousins," etc. We heard from my wife's mom that Jill was going to talk to my wife and discuss this.
I, being the husband, figured I would just call Jack (my wife's brother) and nip this in the bud, especially because my wife was super stressed and discouraged that the name was already causing tension. He couldn't talk until that night, so I just sent him this text:
**"No worries. While [my wife] was working out, I just wanted to nip this name thing in the bud. We love you guys, and I don't want the drama. But in no way do you guys have a say in what we name our child. I'm a little pissed that I even have to say that out loud.
[My wife] was super excited to announce the baby and the name, and now she’s stressed, and there’s unnecessary tension. [My wife] shouldn’t have to justify or defend naming her own child. I know they’re gonna have a call, but there isn’t room for discussion on it. If we want to name our child whatever name, it’s ours to make. I hate to add to the tension, but you guys put us in this situation, and it really sucks."**
Well, that set off an explosion. They're super hurt by the text, saying how aggressive I was. I have already apologized to them for the text and said, "I was just trying to set a boundary, but probably took it too far," etc. Also, since then, we have been trying to set up a call with them to get past this tension and drama but haven't had any luck. We would like to know: WIBTA if we end up naming our son "Owen"?
Here are the top rated comments.
HandBananasRevenge says:
NTA and personally, I don’t see anything wrong with your message. People who are being over the top inappropriate with an insane demand like the one being made here, don’t deserve to be treated with kid gloves.
The only mistake you made was apologizing for the message. Now they are doing the silent treatment as a way to get you “back in line” which is usually a tell in and of itself that this is nothing more than a power play on their part.
lihzee says:
NTA. "There's only one Owen in their lives." This is asinine.
Substantial_Run3855 says:
NTA. Princess SIL can take seat. No one owns a name. And is extremely common to have more than one Owen or whatever in a family. What if a sibling fell in love with an Owen ? Sorry sister, you can’t marry him. No duplicate names allowed! What a control freak.
Formal_Cap_1324 says:
NTA - God forbid there is another Owen in the world! How sensitive their child must be, if they will be confused by another Owen in their world. my son had 9 kids with the same first name as his in his class, one was even a female! None of them were traumatized, and in fact they started the 9 kids club.