'My in-laws want my husband to cheat on me because they want a grandson.' AITA? UPDATED.
"AITA-My in-laws want my husband to cheat on me because they want a grandson?"
Me and my husband have been together for 5 years, and we have twin girls together. We moved in before the pandemic after dating online for a year. During the time we were living down with his family, they did everything in their power to try and get us to break up (I think it's because we have different skin colors, but only 2 of them have flat out said it to me.)
Before I moved in with my husband, I told his family I am not a maid, and my schooling will come first. All 12 of them agreed, so we moved in together. The first year of us living together, the pandemic started, and we would have disagreements about stupid things (laundry not being picked up, toilet seat left up, pets needing to be cared for, etc.).
Whenever they heard us arguing, even if we had both come up with a solution together, they would interject and tell my husband I was wrong and he shouldn't have to compromise with someone like me. They expected me to clean up after everyone (including my husband's brother who behaved very poorly).
We got kicked out of that house and got our own place. We were planning on coming back to where I'm from to live with my family, but it took longer than we expected.
During that time, I got pregnant and had extreme pregnancy nausea. We told them, and the stress from them all made me miscarry and almost needed a blood transfusion. We moved in with my parents shortly after that, and 3 months after the traumatic event, I got pregnant again with twins. I again had extreme pregnancy nausea and couldn't eat anything for 5 months.
They weren't able to get accurate readings on both our girls, and due to preeclampsia, they scheduled me to have a c-section asap. I talked to my doctor about getting sterilized, and she agreed. Not even 24 hours after I had my c-section, they were asking when we were going to try for a boy, and even got mad at my husband for signing their birth certificate because my kind cheats. I told them we won't be having any more kids. They got mad but let it go and met our baby girls.
Six months later, I hear them tell my husband while he's on a video call with them that I wasn't doing my "womanly duties" by not giving him a son, and that he should go out and get another woman who's Mexican pregnant with a son to carry on the family name. He has told them no and even threatened to go no contact with them.
It's now a year later, and my husband's sister is still trying to pimp him out to her friends because they are Mexican, and I'm white. We both have told them we can barely support the ones we have and don't want any more.
My husband's family says they are up crying every night because the family name is going to die out, and I'm terrible for my husband because I'm denying him a chance to raise a son. So am I the ahole?
Here's what the top commenters had to say about this one:
Emsintheair said:
NTA. They need a lesson in genetics their precious baby boys sperm is what dictates boy or girl at conception. He could go all nick cannon and still have a football team of girls. Cut them off and be happy
ShyexGI said:
Girl !!! STOP indulging in all this unnecessary drama. Let your husband deal with his nutty family and go NC for your mental health. Focus on your husband and twins. Enjoy your precious babies they'll be grown before you know it.
Eternal_Nymph said:
WHY ARE YOU LIVING WITH PEOPLE WHO CALL YOU "YOUR KIND???" And WHY is your "husband" allowing it? I can't get past that.
jockstrappy said:
NTA. Hopefully your husband will have the fortitude to stand by you.
vivihenderson said:
Oh my god, who is this horrifically awful family you have married yourself into??? I almost can't believe a group of human beings would be this terrible, but I'll take your word for it. I'm glad to hear you're putting some distance between these people and your family. You could not be less TAH.
UPDATE:
Just wanted to make an edit here since a bunch of people are saying it. I really thought no one was going to read this, but that's crazy! Things to add: my husband does stand up for me, and I have been no contact with them for about 2 months now since they said that.
He was very upset they would say that in the first place. His words were, "You guys talk all this sh$t about dad and how he wasn't in our lives until child support ended, but you want to have his name carried on.
You all are stupid. He only talks to them once every 6 months because they would send stuff for the girls, and most of the time they would call me to talk to him. Also, they are all the way in Texas, and we are all the way up in Maine. They know where we live right now, but once we move to the new place, we are going full NC.