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'AITA for telling my Indian friend to accept that white men don't want to date her?'

'AITA for telling my Indian friend to accept that white men don't want to date her?'


AITA for telling my Indian friend that white men just don't want her?

ThrowawayAitaosow writes:

I (20m) am Indian American and have a friend (20f) who is also Indian American. She is quite good-looking, but she complains that she can’t get a “hot white guy” to date her. Her white friends are similar to her in terms of “level” of looks, but they find it easy to find these athletic white guys to date.

The thing is that she has openly said she refuses to date Indian guys and only wants a white guy. She was complaining to me recently, and honestly, I’ve gotten a bit tired of it, so I just told her, “Maybe they don’t want you.” This caused her to get very upset and call me an AH.

Now, I’m not one of those Indian guys who hates on Indian girls and wants her to only date Indians, but it strikes me as weird that she is just completely not willing to date any other non-white ethnicity.

She has no interest in East Asian, Hispanic, or black guys (many of whom have shown interest in her). She just wants white.Her friends also called me an AH, but honestly, I’m just calling it how it is. AITAH?

OP provided an update:

In case of confusion, she outright refuses to date anyone who isn’t white, whether they’re black, Asian, etc. No, I’m not jealous or lashing out at her. My gf is Indian and my ex was white.

Here are the top comments:

Astute_Primate says:

I'm an athletic white guy who was with a South Asian girl (Sylheti/Bengali) for 8 years. NTA. The racial dynamics are bigger than both of you. You can't single one person out as the a%^@ole when you have centuries of racial and cultural tension behind you.

Couple of things. First, is she from a family where "lightening up" is a thing? Like, do the women in her family use lightening agents on their skin, or foundation that is a few shades lighter because they associate lighter skin with status and privilege? Her preferences may be the result of internalized racism and family pressure to marry someone with light complexion so they can have children with lighter skin.

My ex's family wasn't like that, but she definitely had friends who thought she was lucky for landing a "shada guy." Secondly, if she's that public about only wanting to date white guys, white guys may be put off by that. I wouldn't want someone to date me just because I'm white.

Would you want some vapid white girl who is obsessed with Bollywood movies and thinks Priyanka Chopra-Jonas is super pretty to date you just because you're Indian? No one of any race wants to be fetishized.

If her fascination with white men is really that surface level, then she's probably not prepared for how complicated and difficult an interracial/intercultural relationship can actually be.

KeyserSoju says:

She can have her preferences, and white men have theirs too. Some will be into her, but not all. That's life.

knallpilzv2 says:

NTA (Not the A^#&ole). Maybe they can sense her entitled personality and aren't into it.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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