'AITA for not letting my MIL take credit for naming my daughter in front of family?'
"AITA for correcting my MIL at a family gathering that she didn't recommend my daughter's name, it was my favorite name?"
Far-Oven-6023 writes:
I have been married to my husband for almost two years, and our daughter is 11 months old. When we found out we were having a girl, one of the top contenders for her name was that of a character I really like from a very popular book and movie franchise.
My husband is a huge fan of the franchise too, and over time that name became the only one I wanted. We settled on it and then told our parents. I remember my MIL asking if there was an alternative spelling that could cause confusion. I said no, explained the subtle difference in pronunciation, and had a whole conversation with her about it.
Last weekend we were at my in-laws’ place for dinner. My BIL and SIL were there too. We were watching my daughter cruise along the room, using the couches for support, looking at us to see if we were watching, and then laughing. My BIL’s wife remarked how radiant she looked and said she had really taken to her name. My SIL then said it was a really good choice by my MIL.
I was confused and asked what she meant. My SIL said my MIL had been the one to recommend the name. My MIL then said she had mentioned it was a good name. I was stunned for a second and then made it clear that I had come up with the name, that I had known of it for years, and that my husband also knew of the character.
I said we had been set on that name from the start and there were no recommendations involved. I asked my husband to confirm, which he did, although uncomfortably. My MIL said names are a collective family effort and that everyone pitched in, but I repeated that this particular name was very dear to me and was one I had chosen. (Maybe I should not have brought it up again, and that is why I am here.)
When we got home and were in bed, my husband received texts from his mom and sister. He told me I was right in my account of what happened but also said I had been tactless. He said we both know it was my choice, and our daughter has a beautiful name that suits her, so there was no need to create bitterness.
Today, he had a regular phone call with his mom. I asked if she was still upset, and he said she was. He told me he understood why I corrected her but that it was not the right time or place. Was I the one in the wrong?
Here are the comments from the post.
quincebush says:
"He said that he understood why I did it but it wasn't the time and place." Did he happen to share with you when would have been a better time to correct your mother in law's revisionist history and why he didn't have a word with her and correct her himself? Big fat, NTA.
OP responded:
No, he didn't say it but he said it shouldn't have been clarified in front of an audience , so I'm assuming he meant when it was just me with MIL. And if she'd said this when we've had moments where its just the two of us, i would've corrected her then, I didn't enjoy saying it in front of others, it's just that's when it was brought up.
alien_overlord_1001 says:
NTA. Ouch - you have a husband problem. Your MIL is the one making up fantasies about how she chose names. You simply told the truth and cleared that nonsense up. It was the time, and the place.
Not_Good_HappyQuinn says:
She’s pissed that she got called out on a stupid lie? Easy solution to that is she shouldn’t have lied. NTA.