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'My mom confessed that she is my sister and now I feel bad.' MAJOR UPDATE

'My mom confessed that she is my sister and now I feel bad.' MAJOR UPDATE

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The truth can be very complicated, and knowing what to do with it can be another story entirely.

"My mom confessed that she is my sister and I now feel bad."

Idk why I feel so much guilt about this whole situation. This happened 5 days ago, 1 week after my 16th birthday. So my mom (sister) explained our entire family situation. Her mom (my bio mom) was ass##lted as a teenager (15) and was forced to keep the child because of her parents, eventually giving birth to my mom.

They struggled a lot during this time and my mom was resented by her mom so she moved away as soon as she was 18 and went NC. Her mom began spiralling with dr#gs, alc*h*l, etc once she left and eventually ended up pregnant again with me around the time my mom was 23.

However, she was deemed unfit to raise me so they managed to contact my mom and she agreed to take me in. My bio mom never really recovered and ended up overd*sing a year later. This completely surprised me because I genuinely never had clue I wasn't actually my mom's child.

We look very much alike and she went to great lengths to become my mom. She said that I don't need to call her mom anymore and that I deserved to know the truth before I turn 18. This upset me and I absolutely disagreed with her and said that no matter what she would always be my mom and I would always call her that because she is in every way my mom.

And we both cried over this and hugged and I thanked her for telling me the truth also. The thing that is eating away at me though is that she sacrificed so much to raise me and I can't repay her in any way. Like she hasn't dated at all even though I know that she wants a partner. She also changed professions to better accommodate me.

She has done so much and I can't repay her in any way. And I haven't always been the best to her either. I was definitely difficult as a child and recently I haven't really been listening and respecting her as much as I should be. And I know I've probably said some mean things over the years, mostly around wanting to be with my dad (she initially said that she had a husband that abandoned us when I was born).

All of this just made me feel so much guilt and sadness. And I know if I talk to her about it she'll just reassure me that she is happy and I shouldn't worry but I can't get rid of this feeling. I've decided that I'm going to be the best son ever and do everything she says from now on. But I still can't get rid of this feeling. I don't know what to do.

The internet offered up a lot of support.

YoungeCurmudgeon4 wrote:

Your sister is an amazing woman and an incredible person and deserves all the love and respect in the world.

As for you, handling this so well takes a lot in a person. Be proud of yourself. And always believe in yourself.

OP responded:

Thanks I'll try my best ❤️ My love for her is probably at an all time high. I wish I'd know earlier so that I could have always treated her this way.

TraditionalShop6800 wrote:

Talk to your mom, thank her and tell you are grateful for how she raised you. And now, she should think about herself too. Encourage her to date again and find a partner.

OP responded:

Okay I will. I think I'll take some time to figure out the right words to say to her 😅

Galactus1701 wrote:

Repay her by being the best person you can be. Help her, be respectful, study and always be grateful.

OP responded:

Absolutely will be the best son I can 😅

BiasCutTweed wrote:

You have to also give yourself a little grace here - your mom sounds amazing and deserves all the best, but what she clearly wanted for you was to give you a normal, stable childhood.

And it’s very normal for children to act out sometimes, to say things in anger, to be difficult. It’s all a part of growing up. The good thing is that it’s easy to see from your reaction to what she told you that she did an amazing job and you’re well on your way to becoming a great person she will be proud of.

Take all of this and let it strengthen those good qualities. Do your best for her and yourself but don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes you can’t change. You don’t need to repay her for the choices she made, you just need to live a life that makes you both happy.

OP responded:

Thank you for the advice ❤️ I'll definitely try my best to feel proud of myself and also make her happy

A day later, OP shared an update.

I've literally been tearing up from all the comments and messages from everyone. I am honestly so grateful for all the kind words and reassurance. Genuinely thanks so much ❤️ Not much of an update really but I thought I would still share. I took a few pieces of advice and have done them randomly during day.

Firstly Happy Mother's Day everyone. Hope you had a great time. Me and my mom had a few things planned for today and I got back just over an hour ago now. We went to the cinema then a restaurant and ended the day with bowling. Honestly had an absolute blast and she was happy throughout. I got her a gift too, it was a photo engraved bracelet which I gave her at the end of bowling.

One advice I got was saying things that show her I care about her so I said "Your the best" and hugged her after the cinema. I also said "I love you" when giving her the bracelet which made her cry 😭 I still do feel the guilt but I'm not gonna let it get me down. Don't want more stress especially with exams coming up 😅

I saw a lot of comments mentioning that I shouldn't keep my feelings bottled up so I am planning on conveying all my feelings to her soon. I'll probably write a letter because I know I'll probably start crying before I even start speaking 😂 I think that will definitely give me some peace of mind. Thanks all again for taking the time to read this ❤️

(Also I completely forgot how biology works in my last post 😅 She would be my half-sister not sister since I doubt our father's were the same. But regardless I'm still going to call her mom 😁)

The comments kept flowing in.

Galactus1701 wrote:

As I told you yesterday, make her proud and be grateful. Show her that all of her effort wasn’t in vain. Tell her she is doing a great job raising you against all odds.

Apprehensive-Fee5732 wrote:

This is how you repay her: be the very best you, live and experience all that you can. That is why she did what she did, so you could gave the very best chances...show her she succeeded! Be happy and live large!

Nature-LovingDad89 wrote:

I know you're worried about how to repay her for what she did, and you can. Never forget what she did and how you feel right now. There will be times in life when you are mad at her or upset with things she's done. Don't ever forget this moment and now you feel.

Tommotl wrote:

To be a parent is to sacrifice. Your mum sacrificed a lot it seems, but you should not feel guilty about that, that’s what all loving parents do. The best you can do is to show her in the years to come that her effort paid off.

duel3000 wrote:

If you really want to pay your mother back, all you have to do is live the best life you can. study hard and get good grades and try for a scholarship to ease any financial burden, get a good job that pays well so you can help her when she needs it, find someone you love and start a family to give her all the love she needs, and most importantly spend time with her when you can.

Living your best life is the biggest return your mother can ask for from the investment she made in you.

Sources: Reddit
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