Mother kicks teen daughter out of the house then destroys her wedding dress; mom laughs at her despair.

AITA for feeling destroyed because my mother stole and damaged my wedding dress?

LUNAMAE2000 writes:

I was 16 (F) when my parents kicked me out. I grabbed a few bags and left to live with my best friend, who was 16 (M), and his parents at the time.

Before being kicked out, I was given my grandmother's wedding dress, which I intended to wear as my own one day. Once I was kicked out, my mother and sister raided my room for what they wanted before I came back to collect the rest of my things. I did notice this at the time but didn't have the mental energy to fight about it.

The wedding dress was one of the items taken from me in 2021. She used the excuse that the people I was staying with left their house unlocked, and she didn't want it stolen or damaged, so she claimed she was going to get it cleaned and boxed, stating, "You shouldn't have it; it's a family heirloom."

Today, after two years of fighting with my mother, the threat of police and courts finally caused her to fold. She doesn't want legal trouble as it would make her perfect image crumble in front of her.

I had to go to my grandmother to get a recording of her stating it was mine. Keep in mind my grandmother is 92 and has a bad memory, yet she remembered that two years ago she gave it to me and recalls the entire day in detail.

Anyway, after all of that (which I've left out a lot), I opened the box, and it's ruined. There is thousands of dollars worth of damage. She handed me the box with the dress after going on a rant about how she spoke to grandma and anyone in the family who wants to use it should be allowed, as that's what grandma gave it to me for — to be its keeper and lend it out when wanted. FALSE.

In the recording, I ask, "What did you do with your wedding dress? It's okay if you don't remember." She says, "What do you mean, I gave it to you." I told my grandmother, 'I will be wearing this as MY wedding dress,' and she states, "I wish to see it on you again one day," as she most likely won't live to see the day I'm married.

Nowhere in the conversation does she mention the fact I must lend it out to others. In fact, she affirms it's mine and mine alone. I have told my sister that AFTER I've worn the dress at MY wedding, I might lend it to her.

This dress drama started because she wanted to clean and keep the dress from being damaged or stolen. Only when I finally got the dress back I discovered that my family cleaned it, and damage it beyond belief.

My whole family, including my partner, believes I'm being overdramatic in how angry and betrayed I feel. However, I feel I have full right to be angry as she stole and damaged MY dress, then tried to turn it into some kind of communal wedding dress after it has specifically been given to ME.

I called her, and she sounded like she was trying not to laugh, saying, "Well, that is the risk you take when getting an old wedding dress dry cleaned." I believe it's 100% her responsibility to fix, so I will be demanding she gets it repaired at her cost. I'm so tired of being invalidated, but I need to know AITA.

Here are some of the top comments:

Alarming-Benefit-202 says:

NTA (Not the A&#hole). If it is thousands of dollars worth of damage, I’d take her to court.

Bonnm42 says:

NTA but you actually wrote your own solution in your post. You said your Mom doesn’t want any legal trouble. She destroyed your dress, your property. That is a crime. Call the police on her, and when she calls enraged tell her “That’s the risk you take when you damage other peoples belongings!”

Also, since she cares so much about appearance, I would take a pic of the dress and blast her on social media. She sounds like a bully. Only one way to deal with a bully, show them you will not be bullied and they will face consequences when they do.

CelebrationNext3003 says:

NTA and sue her for the damages.

Kukka63 says:

NTA, but if your partner doesn't understand how important the dress is for you, they are not worth marrying.

sryformys says:

NTA. Your feelings of anger and betrayal are justified. The wedding dress is more than just a garment, it's a symbol of your connection to your grandmother and her legacy.

Your mother's actions, including taking and damaging the dress and then dismissing your feelings, show a lack of respect for this sentimental value. Asking your mother to pay for the repairs is a reasonable demand for accountability.

What do you think? Is OP right to make her mom pay for the dress?