Woman invites son's stepdad to walk him down the aisle; gets upset when son says 'no'. AITA?

My mom invited my stepdad to walk me down the aisle with her when I never asked for that.

Human_Hearing_992 writes:

So my fiancée and I thought it would be sweet if we were both walked down the aisle by our parents at our wedding. For her, that's both her moms and for me, that's my mom. I lost my dad 11 years ago when I was 14. My mom was thrilled when I asked her and told me she was so excited to walk her baby boy down the aisle.

The problem came in when she told her husband that I wanted them to walk me down the aisle. Not just her, like I explicitly stated. But her and her husband, who has never been my parental figure and only came into my life as an adult.

He was excited about the prospect as well, and he called me up and told me he was glad I was finally letting him step into the role of father figure because he always wanted kids and he was proud to have a son. I had no idea where this came out of, so I asked what he meant, and he said the fact I wanted my mom and him to walk me down the aisle meant I was embracing him as a parent too.

I told him I had not asked for both of them. I asked just my mom. He acted like I never spoke. So I called my mom and asked where he got the idea I had asked him, and she told me she hadn't seen it as a big deal because they're married and he's a good man and surely I'll want him to be a grandpa to my future kids, so including him in this shouldn't be such a big deal.

I told her it is a big deal because he is not my parent and if anyone was going to be walking with us it would be dad, but he's not here and because he's not here, I don't want anyone else. I told her she needed to clear things up with her husband, and she told me no.

She said she would not crush him, and I could man up and allow him the joy of experiencing this with us. I told her I was not going to walk with the two of them. She told me it was too late to back out now and what harm would it do. She told me it would crush him to have it taken back.

I told her he blatantly ignored me when I already told him, and she defended it, saying he was excited and wanted to be included. I told her I wouldn't walk with her if she didn't fix this, and she told me I had to walk with her; I already asked, and she already accepted. Which is when I told her if that was her stance, then I was taking back the offer for her, and she could figure out what to tell the man she married.

All hell broke loose when I told my mom this, and she told me I was behaving like a child and excluding a good man for no good reason, as well as punishing her for trying to be a good wife. AITA?

Here are the top comments from the post:

NapalmAxolotl says:

NTA (Not the A%@$ole). You offered a sweet gesture, and she completely f&%ked it up. Does she try to override your wishes on a lot of things, or just in regard to her husband? Is she going to create a bunch of drama at the wedding now?

OP responded:

This is all very new to me. My mom never did anything like this before, not even with her husband. But I never lived with him so maybe that's part iof the reason why.

Abtruse says:

So your mother decided all on her own to force her husband into a parental relationship with you without asking or consulting you, and is now acting like you have no choice but to go along with it?

So NTA and you should start mentally preparing yourself to uninvite them both and, depending on the level of drama your mother is capable of, putting passwords on vendors and talking with the venue about security.

Icy_Department_1423 says:

NTA. Your mom is being manipulative. There are lots of good men around, some of which will probably be guests at your wedding, none of which will be walking you down the aisle because they are not your parent. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.

What do you think? Should OP just let his stepdad walk him down the aisle?