'AITA for intentionally insulting my parents on Facebook by saying they aren't mine?'
"AITA for telling my parents they aren't really my parents?"
Accomplished-Date248 writes:
So, my (20M) parents weren't really present. My grandparents stayed with us and took care of me until I started daycare, but after a few incidents where the teacher was targeting me for no reason, they withdrew me.
My parents said daycare seemed too expensive, that I was better off at home, and they refused to pay. My grandparents continued raising me until I started school. They came over every morning and afternoon—basically whenever I was home.
At that point, it felt like they should just move in with us, but my parents didn't want them to, since they'd have to pay for two more people living with us, and they also didn't want them nagging all the time.
I remember always asking my grandma why I never saw my parents, and she'd try to change the topic. Well, I spoke to her recently, and after a lot of pressing and convincing, she admitted that my parents didn't want me or my brother, upon their own admission not long after we were born. And to top it off, as it turns out, my parents just stayed at work late every day so they wouldn't have to deal with me and my twin in general.
They recently posted a picture of us, saying spending time with family is the best gift they've ever received. I never paid much attention, but it turns out they've been posting mine and my brother's pictures for occasions like Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthdays, etc.
I spent the weekend making cute stuff out of wood with my grandparents, so I posted a few pics of those and added a caption saying it was great to finally have a free weekend to spend with my parents.
They called me up asking what I meant by that post, and I told them I meant exactly what I typed out. I see my grandparents as my real parents—they're the ones who've been there for me. My grandma made our lunch and got us ready every day.
My grandpa dropped us everywhere—school, competitions, you name it. They were the ones who listened to all my problems, gave me advice, consoled me, and fought for me. They guided us through life, not my 'parents' who gave birth to me and left it at that.
My mother started crying, and my father said it's unfair of me to punish them for making their career a priority and taking breaks, since balancing career and parenting is stressful. I told them they didn't balance anything—they just pawned us off to our grandparents. They're now blowing up our phones and demanding apologies. So, AITA?
Here are the top rated comments from readers.
glitteringstarbreeze says:
Unpopular opinion: Sometimes the family you choose is more important than the family you're born into. Your grandparents CHOSE you every single day. That's real love.
Accomplished_Two1611 says:
Your parents resped the seeds they sowed. It's ridiculous for them to think otherwise. They should be thanking your grandparents and begging for forgiveness for their actions. NTA.
KaraofRowanFarm says:
NTA. They didn't put in the work to raise you, and it's not up to you to lie to protect them even if they had asked you to. Your grandparents did right by you. If anything, your parents now regret how they treated you and are clinging to the most superficial shows of parentage (holidays and birthdays) since they have nothing else to go on.
Not saying that's necessarily true, but if your parents really thought they were prioritizing career for a better family then maybe they truly did just f%#k up the work life balance. This does not mean they should be forgiven for their absenteeism or their apparent dislike of having children. Your words are the first realization of the consequences of their own actions, and they don't like it.
MerlinBiggs says:
NTA. You spoke the truth.