'AITA for telling my enabling parents they don't deserve to be at my sister's wedding?'
"AITA for telling my parents they were deserve to be kicked out of my sisters wedding."
ThrowRAsisterswed writes:
So, I (37f), my brother Mike (35m), is a knob. Always has been and always will be. He has been babied to the point of uselessness by our mum and dad, and that's made him an entitled slob.
When he was younger, he showed promise playing rugby, which had my mum and dad believing he was going to be a superstar. The problem was that he never had the work ethic to fully fulfill his potential. However, this meant that he was the golden boy of the family and could do no wrong in my parents’ eyes.
He was a bully at school, which they brushed off as other kids making up lies. But he was an even bigger bully at home to our younger sister Kelly (31f). He would constantly "prank" her, which basically meant he would do anything he could to embarrass her, including things like pulling her dress up in front of the whole family at a wedding when she was 15.
Mum and dad just said it was siblings being siblings, but the rest of the family were mortified by his behavior. I did try to stick up for my sister, and it worked to a certain extent, but after I went away to uni, there wasn't much I could do as mum and dad just don't listen to anyone.
It got so bad that when she was 18, my sister gave up going to her dream university, St Andrews, and instead moved to London to go to Imperial College London. This was a huge shock to all of us, as she had been talking about St Andrews since she started high school at 11.
When I asked why, she said that St Andrews was too close to home and she would be expected to go back home more often, but if she went to London she would only have to go home for Christmas. This broke my heart.
After she left, she did exactly that. The only time she was home was Christmas and when I got married. This really annoyed mum and dad, as they said she was abandoning the family. I kept my mouth shut and just let them whine occasionally, as I didn't want an argument.
After graduating from uni, my parents expected her to move back home, but she didn't. She got a job working in southern England and stayed down there. We are from Scotland, for reference.
Six years ago, Kelly met a great guy, Jake (30m). The day she met him, she called me gushing about him, and I've honestly never heard her speak about anyone the way she does about him.
I've met him several times when I've gone down to visit Kelly, and he's great. Good-looking, funny, great job, his family are lovely, and most importantly, he treats Kelly like she hung the moon. It’s very cute.
After she met him, she cut down how much she came home even more, as she spent the first Christmas with his family. Then the pandemic happened, so she ended up not coming home for three years.
Her first Christmas home, Mike started his usual bulls%^t, trying to be the center of attention. When it didn't work out as well as he wanted, as most of the family were more interested in getting to know Jake, he then tried to "prank" Kelly.
He got a big bowl of water and was going to pour it over her. Jake saw what was happening and stepped in front of Kelly, telling Mike not to even think about it. Side note: Jake is 6ft 3 and has been doing martial arts since he was 4, so he can be very intimidating when needed.
Mum and dad tried to play it off as a harmless prank, but Jake was having none of it. Mike started whining about it just being a prank, and Jake told him that if he "pranked" Kelly one more time, he would "prank" Jake by putting his foot up his arse and his fist down his throat.
Kelly and Jake left about an hour later, but after that, Mike, mum, and dad all had an issue with Jake. Kelly hasn't been back home since. That leads us to now. Kelly and Jake are getting married. They sent out invites in February for August.
However, they didn't invite Mike. Mum and dad are obviously incensed by this and had a huge argument with Kelly. They threatened not to go, and Kelly just said no problem, she would get grandad to walk her down the aisle.
I went around to their house on Saturday with my kids. Immediately, my mum started complaining about Kelly and the wedding. I sat and listened for a while before I'd had enough. I asked her what she actually expected.
Her and dad have allowed Mike to be the golden child and get away with everything. Because of that, he can't keep a relationship due to thinking everyone should do everything for him. He can't hold down a job because every job is beneath him, and he's still living at home with zero prospects in life.
The man-child is a bully who I don't trust to be around my children unsupervised. He bullied Kelly for most of her teen years, and her only escape was to move over 400 miles away and never come home.
My mum got very quiet and then asked me to leave. A few hours later, my dad called, going mad because I'd upset my mum and was taking the side of an ungrateful little girl instead of my parents who gave me everything. This started a huge argument between me and him where I told him he'd been a c%#p dad to Kelly and didn't deserve to walk her down the aisle.
I've just had enough, but now I've got extended family members telling me I've gone too far, as my mum is barely speaking to anyone and keeps crying. My grandad said it was about time I told them off, but my grandma is upset by all the arguing. So AITA for telling my parents that they sucked as parents and deserved to be kicked out of my sister’s wedding?
Here's what people had to say to OP.
Accomplished-Emu-591 says:
NTA. If they can't stand the truth, they need to hibernate. I vote grandpa walks her down the aisle regardless of who attends!
OP responded:
My sister isn't changing her mind, they aren't going to the wedding no matter what. She only invited them as she thought it was the right thing to do in the first place. So, grandad will be walking her no matter what.
aquavenatus says:
NTA. Your parents failed both of your siblings and it’s going to get worse when they realize your sister won’t invite them to her events and when they realize that their son will become homeless after they pass. Honestly, I’m shocked your brother hasn’t been arrested yet.
OP responded:
He has, multiple times for getting into fights when drunk. Nothing ever come of it though.