'My parents wants to give my sister the earrings my grandma left for me. I'm furious.' UPDATED

Family drama can be the most potent kind of drama there is.

"My parents wants to give my sister the earrings my grandma left for me."

This story is so weird when I (27f) was 20 y/o I was in relationship/fwb situation with a guy (now 40M). It was messy, we were on and off for almost 5 years. He was always clear he wasn't ready for a relationship and I was always clear I was madly in love with him.

Every time I got tired of the situation and wanted to leave somehow he convinced me to stay, because love is free, we have so much time together, he wasnt ready to commitment. I asked abvice to my sister (now 42f) and she gave me some crappy advice like made him compromise, leave stuff at his place and basically turn him into a boyfriend until it was too late for him to say no.

I never managed to do that because I wanted him to love me as much as I loved him, not trap him. During the last night I spend at his place he said he wanted to try something more serious with me, talked about some dates he planned etc. Only to ghost me forever. It was hard. This was the first person I loved and he treated me like crap.

Six months passed and my sister came home. We both lived with our parents, she wanted to introduce her brand new boyfriend, she had have ton of boyfriends but she said this was the one, it was a dinner only with my parents at our home so I was excluded and expected to just go out or chill in my room.

The day came and while they were dinning I ordered a pizza I came downstairs only to find the guy I was with six months prior dinning with my parents and sister. I was shocked but pay for my pizza and went to my room again to cry. After dinner was over, I confronted my sister in front of our parents and begged her to not be with him. To be loyal to me, her little sister.

There was no way she didn't know who he was, I had showed her pictures of him, his socials media, where he worked and she even know where he lived, they never met because he didn't wanted to met my family and never introduced his. But she knew who he was and she excluded me from that dinner because she knew. She said they met by chance after we stopped seeing each other.

She knew how hard that "rupture" was, she knew how painful it was to not have even a closure, he just stopped replying, not even blocking me just left me there wondering after 5 years. She knew that during those six months I was still hurting. I know how it was my fault, I was too naive and thought that if I stayed long enough he would be ready for the relationship I wanted and would learn to love me.

Stupid, I know. She defended herself saying it was a coincidence and chemistry was there, she loved him and she wasn't going to lost the love of her life, this stuff only happens once in lifetime. When I was in my early twenties I would believe that, however now I know that there are 8 billions people in this world, there's no ONE love of your life, you can find the love of your life multiple time if look for it.

My parents sided with her and said I should get over it since we never have a real relationship. One and a half year had passed. I've been excluded from multiple family gatherings because he would be around and my family thinks I will bring negative vibes since I'm still bitter about everything. I have no feelings for him but I feel betrayed by my sisters and my parents, he is just pos on my eyes now.

My sister is now six months pregnant, due her age she had been extremely pampered by my parents. She still lives at home and is going to move with him maybe two months after the baby is born. Then they're going to marry. In my culture is normal that if a woman gives birth moves back (or stay) with her mom so the mom will help with the baby for the first months.

A week ago my sister's friends made a surprise baby shower I happened to be at home I tried to talk to them, I don't know why, maybe because my sister and I were to close before and I'm sad we're not longer friends. But her friends acted like I wasn't there and only replied to me with 'hmm' 'yes' 'no' or silence as it I was the one that created this mess. Or I was a homewrecker.

Or I tried to seduce my sister's man. I was planning to move already, I was saving money etc. But after that I left immediately to a friend house. I'm in the process to find my own place. Two days ago I recived a call from my parents asking me to have a talk. I went to their house and they informed me that the diamond earrings my grandma left me will be given to my sisters.

Those earrings have been in my family for four generations and before my grandma died she said the earrings will be mine and my sister will recived a gold necklace. Grandma trusted my parents with the earrings, there was no will or anything she just asked to give it to me when I was mature enough to appreciate/take care of a family heirloom.

Now my parents thinks since my sister is getting married first and is having grandma's first great grandchild my sister should have it. I'm really MAD now, they're robbing me of something my grandma LEFT TO ME. I don't think my parents are evil evil, I think they were too worried my sister wouldn't marry due her age (again in my culture a single woman in her 40s is worrisome for her family).

Now that she's forming a family they want to reward her with everything. But I was the closest to my grandma, she made it clear the earrings will be mine not my sisters, not the first one to marry or have a child but mine. After two years of being excluded in favor of my sisters I gave the ultimatum to my parents they give the earrings to me as my grandma intended or I will cut the from my life forever.

Not gonna lie the idea of cuttting my family off is too painful but I feel they already made me and still makes me so wrong I dont want them in my life anymore. I feel a little shallow fighting over this but those are only things my grandad left to they're not entitled to them.

The internet kept it super real in the comment section.

Southernpalegirl wrote:

You need to get a lawyer. Those earrings are your inheritance from your grandmother and if it’s documented in your grandmothers will, they can be sued and charged with stealing. I know you don’t want to do this but your family has already shown you that you don’t matter to them at all. Do you honestly believe that they are going to care if you go no contact with them?

Don’t warn them that you are going to press charges for stealing, the will giving you the earrings will magically go missing. I’m sorry, OP, you deserve better and I hope you stay strong enough to make boundaries that you will be able to stand by.

OP responded:

Grandma left no will she handed her jewelry, and most of then were family heirlooms, to everybody. My grandma was the 4 generation with then. I was 12 when my grandma died, she gave the earrings to my mom so I could have them when I was ready to take care of them properly. I always thought I would wear them on my wedding day or a very special they.

Since I lived with my parents not so long ago I never asked for them because mom has them in a safe in her room with other important stuff. I don't know if they would care. I think they dont believe they're doing nothing wrong handing the earring to the sister that is having grandma first great grandchild.

But if grandma wanted that, she would have stated "the sister that has the first child must receive the earrings." She said they were MINE. Honestly, the entitlement.

Southernpalegirl wrote:

Can you access the safe without your parents?

OP responded:

Yes I still have keys from the house. I'm worried that I take them it would be legal consequences. I have a text of my mom adminiting the earrings were meant to me. I could use our extended family that knows my grandma last wishes but I don't it will be enough.

Southernpalegirl wrote:

Keep the text, take the earrings. Then go no contact with no explanation, they are well aware of why you are going no contact. Your family is not good people and you are not required to keep them in your life.

DUDEI82QB4IP wrote:

Take the earrings. When they discover the loss and inevitably accuse you...lose your ever loving s**t on them. Accuse right back “how dare you! You accuse me of stealing MY earrings?? I don’t have them! What have YOU done with them? Maybe entitled sister took them?! OMG I can’t believe you STEAL from ME and then dare to accuse me of stealing my own earrings?

What is this? A plot against me? Let me guess sister gets my earrings and you try to make me pay for their loss? What kind of people are you?! Monsters, shameless greedy vile...blah blah”. Then leave, cut off your family. You can wear your earrings when you like as they won’t be invited to your future wedding.

seaturtle541 wrote:

Get the earrings and all your important paperwork to a safe place then tell them all to f off. They have disrespected you and walked all over you and now they after trying to steal from you. Don’t back down.

Quadrameems wrote:

“Mom and Dad, you’re right. Sister does deserve the earrings as she’s getting married first and clearly it’s meant to be true love! I would like to be the one to give them to her, as a gift of reconnecting our sisterly bond! Please allow me this honour.” Get earrings, ghost them all and wear that gift from your grandma every chance you get!

Five months later, OP shared an update.

This is old but I keep receiving messages every once in a while asking for an update.

Yes, I got the earrings.

After my post I went to my parents house opened the safe, took the earrings and left. Then after that I went again, told my parents I need time to process stuff and be my own self and gave their house's keys, said I was leaving for good. There was some tears from my mom saying she couldn't believe I was such a bitter person, she raised me better.

I was turning my back to my family over NOTHING and finally that it was shameful that I would let the family house without being married or anything. So it was never about me or she loving me or anything but social pressure to keep an outdated tradition. My dad was very neutral, gave me a hug and wished me luck.

For two months nothing happened and I barely have contact with my family, found a place to live tried to heal, have real fun decorating my new home, your mormal stuff. And then everything happened AT ONCE. For those 2 months my sister and mom never reached to me, only my dad send a text once a week asking how I was and wishing I was doing well.

And then my sister's boyfriend/future husband/also my ex started to follow me on instagram again. I found it weird but anyway after all he's my sister's boyfriend/father of my niece/future brother in law/my ex fwb. The he started to like my stories and the replying to them with hearth emojis and "looking good😍" this happened three times maybe?

When I recived THE voicemail from my mom calling all sort of names for going after a man that I knew was engaged, this was some kind of revenge over my poor sister, that I was causing her so mush stress her blood pressure level was over moon. I was an inconsiderate femme fatale and she raised me better.

Later I learned through a cousin that my sister took her fience cellphone and found several conversations with several women including his attends to talk to me so of course she went to my mom crying about me trying to steal her fience. All messy tbh. Less than a week later another voicemail from mom asking me WHERE THE F@#K WERE THE EARRINGS.

She went looking after them and when she couldn't find them deduced it was me. She called me a thief. A disgrace. Dishonored me and said they didn't considered me family anymore. I was dead to them. And she will be taking legal actions against me for thief if it was possible. I had no option but to block her and my sister and other family members that sided with them.

My dad later texted me to let me now my mom went nuts and they wont take any legal action. By the end of last month my cousin texted me saying my sister had given birth to my niece. I know I shouldn't but I did it. I went to the hospital with a gift while wearing my beautiful and fancy earrings. I was kicked out, of course but it was worth of it. I have no plans to see them ever again.

Well, maybe my dad. Also my cousin (big gossiper, that girl) let me know my sister is getting married in May so she will have her happy ever after, after all. But I'm also living my best life rn.

TL;DR Yes, I got the earrings.

People had a lot to say in response.

phoenix__ wrote:

They are toxic. But legal action for earrings that were yours???

Kintsugi-skunk wrote:

Glad you got the earrings. If possible, maybe try and get it in writing from your dad that they acknowledge that your grandma said you were to have the earrings? Maybe to the effect of “I am glad to hear that you will not be taking legal action, but why did mum want to in the first place, and what has changed her mind?”

Just thinking then you might have some evidence of your grandma’s wishes to show if you ever did have a legal issue? Also, I sort of empathise. My grandma passed just over a year ago now, and since I was 14 we would have chats about her jewellery and ornaments as I would clean them and dust them for her. She said to me a few times “right then, (name), tell me what of this you want when I die.”

Very direct woman, she was. And I always loved her eternity ring, as it was of course a very sentimental item. One of our last conversations about it was when she was 101 or 102, and we again talked about what I would like, and she again said she would talk to my mum about it and make sure I got it.

Of course her will didn’t mention division of assets, just that everything was to go to my mum, her daughter. So when I asked my mum about the ring grandma had promised me, my mum said that she hadn’t been told to give anything to anyone specifically, and my sister had been over and seen the ring, and she really loved it.

Cue about 5 months of my mother refusing to give anything of grandma’s to anyone because she didn’t want to pick sides and cause an argument (read: she favours my sister and didn’t want to upset her). Finally, my sister came over and we talked about it. I said my piece about all the times I had spoken to grandma about it and what grandma had said.

Happier ending than yours, as my sister did say I could have the ring, but the feeling of not being believed and grandma’s promise just being dismissed by my mum was awful.

Plus I felt I was seen as being greedy and materialistic because it is a very valuable piece if jewellery, but when I was younger I didn’t know that. I just loved it as it was what my grandma was given for having my mum and loved the history behind it.

OP responded:

I'm glad things ended well between both of you and you got the ring.

I also questioned if I was being just greedy and shallow for fighting for it. But its the meaning behind it what makes it so special.

Technomage1 wrote:

Your father seems like he's the only one who is trying to keep a relationship with you.

OP responded:

I said sadly yes. But also I'm glad I'm free to live my life without the burden of people that don't values me.

Bleacherblonde wrote:

She's not getting a happily ever after. She'll be a single mom when her boyfriend leaves her, or at the very least staying married while he's off cheating all the time. He doesn't love her. She deserves every bit of the mental anguish she's going to have to deal with. And he deserves having to put up with your mom and your sister. They're all evil.

Medical_Temperature4 wrote:

Actually you WON!! You don't have to deal with bs & to top it off you got the earrings and loving your best life.

OP responded:

I don't think I lost at all!

Yeah it hurted. I grieved for someone I thought I loved (Or loved once) and for losing a sister. But now I'm happy I got to live my life free. Out of that relationship and away from people than don't loves or values me. :)

It sounds like OP won in the end.