'AITA for threatening to leave my partner after he stole from our daughter?'
"AITA for wanting to leave my partner after he stole from our daughter?"
Real_Fennel_6468 writes:
My partner (23M) and I (22F) live with my mother and my aunt due to extremely high living costs in our area. Right after our baby was born, my mother gave my partner $300 to put in a dedicated account for our daughter to start her savings.
He opened the account and then told me he was putting $250 per paycheck into the account as well. I told him it was too much and that he needed to keep some money to spend on himself, but he refused. I was only recently given access to this account because he continued to come up with excuses until we actually went to the bank and had me put on the account as well.
Needless to say, when I opened the account, I was expecting to see a good amount of money but quickly noticed there was only $5 left in the account. After the initial $300 deposit, not a penny had been placed in it. Not only that, but he had spent everything except $5, with over $150 of that spent at vape stores.
I was livid. I was beyond pissed. I was shaking for hours I was so angry. When he got home from work, he denied doing anything wrong. He said it wasn’t stealing, he said he needed the stuff he bought and he couldn’t cope without it. He even had the gall to lie again and say he told me about it (he told me about ONE $5 purchase at McDonald’s and $10 at Whole Foods).
I was ready to tell him to pack his things and leave, but my mother told me I was overreacting and demanded we go to our couples counselor. She wouldn’t let it go, so I finally agreed, but I refused to even speak to him until we went. Once we were there, I felt like I was in the damn twilight zone or something.
Our therapist, a trained professional with an actual degree, not only validated his nicotine addiction but told him not to feel guilty about it. She also acted as though the problem wasn’t that he stole the money from our freaking daughter, but that he didn’t inform me when he did it.
In her words, “She’s not going to like EVERY decision you make, and that’s okay,” completely overlooking the actual situation. She also said that I needed to understand why he didn’t tell me (because he was afraid to “stress me out”), once again overlooking the problem.
He told me that from now on, I could take care of all of the expenses (um…yay?) and just moved on like nothing happened. I keep being told by my mom that I need to let it go, and my aunt keeps telling me how hard it would be to be a single mother, and now I feel like I’m crazy for being so upset. So AITAH?
Here are the top comments:
hefty_load_o says:
As someone who quit nicotine after smoking for over two decades lemme tell you that's some a-grade sh^t he's trying to sell you.
TheVaneja says:
NTA wow you got a s^#t therapist. And a s^#%tier husband. And your mom is next level s%#t. Honestly I'd leave all of them behind. Being a single mother would be hard enough by yourself, worse with 'help' like theirs.
typicalArchipelago8 says:
You’re not overreacting. Stealing from your child's savings is a serious breach of trust. It’s fair to consider ending the relationship if he can’t own up to his actions and make genuine changes.
Advanced-Tear-8397 says:
NTA. What more can he do in the future when he knows that someone will defend his bad actions? He should know that what he did, which is stealing, is not good, and he should face the consequences.
OP responded:
That’s exactly what I’m so worried about. If I let this slide like nothing happened, I can’t even imagine what he might stoop to doing later, and at that point it would be MY fault for not ending it.
What do you think?