'My roommate asked me not to use the oven for small things because of electricity. AITA?' UPDATED

"My roommate asked me not to use the oven. AITA?"

I am currently living in Spain with two other girls, one Spanish and the other Ecuadorian (I am only using their nationalities as a way to distinguish them). Anyway, the Spanish roommate has been nit picky since we first moved in, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

For example, she started a cleaning schedule, to which I have not problem with, but then sent a passive aggressive text to our group chat about how the kitchen wasn’t cleaned correctly even though my other roommate had done a good (not perfect) job cleaning it.

She knew this and still said "Well, I can help you if you want because there is dust on the stove" (the rag we use leaves debris, causing it to look SLIGHTLY dusty, but she knows this, whatever).

Anyway, tonight, I was using the oven for exactly 10 minutes to cook veggie chicken patties and she comes to my room telling me that the oven uses a lot of electricity and not to use it for small things. This felt like my last straw but I have to live with her. BTW I said i'd pay extra if the monthly bill is outrageous.

(I have several ways of comparing the prices and many friends who live in the city who also have roommates) I will continue to use the oven whenever I want but pay for it if necessary. Does this make me TA? I might be TA if I keep using it in spite of her asking me not to.

Not long after posting, OP shared an edit/update.

EDIT: We moved in November 1, we have not gotten the utility bill(s); we’re just roommates, she is not the landlord. I have used the oven 4 times for no longer than 20 min each time; I do use a hot water bottle for heat every night using boiled water because bc we don’t use the heat often (2x only, each time at her suggestion); I move out in April 2025 so buying an air fryer doesn’t make sense.

UPDATE: Asked my landlord for November's bill this morning (I used the oven 2x in November for apprx 17 min) and the bill was €20.37- €6.79/person. LOL.

The internet had a lot of questions about the situation.

Irish_Whiskey wrote:

NTA.

"And she comes to my room telling me that the oven uses a lot of electricity and not to use it for small things."

Does she have any actual power? Are you subleasing from her, does she own the place, etc? Because if not, she's just going to continue bossing you around until explain simply "You are not my boss, my parent, or landlord. I have the right to use these things I paid for, you have no say otherwise. Leave me alone."

OP responded:

No! She is just my roommate. I am trying to be civil because we have to live together but that was too much for me. You're right though, I am too grown to be made small and I will tell her (nicely) to F off.

moleman92107 wrote:

“Fellas are you an AH if you (checks notes) cook food at your own home?”

NTA, I know energy prices are a little higher in Europe but you still have to eat lol

ExpatriadaUE wrote:

NTA. It's true that in Spain some people have an obsession about how expensive it is to use the oven and your roommate's family was probably like this and that's what she has heard her whole life. Would it be possible for the three of you to buy an air fryer for the appartment so that you don't have to use the oven for small things?

pernicious_penguin wrote:

Some Spanish people are super freaked out by electricity use as the prices have gone up so much in the last few years. That's not to say you shouldn't use it, but I'm not totally surprised by that reaction. Many people I know here take cold and very quick showers for the same reason. Source, living in Spain with several friends like this...

sues_zzz_que wrote:

No, especially because you are offering to pay extra. Has anyone tried talking to her?

OP responded:

We’ve lived together for a month so no, we’re still in the beginning phase of. However, If she makes this a problem again, I’ll have no choice but to say something.

Expensive_Plant_9530 wrote:

NTA. Part of paying rent means the ability to use the oven, pretty much for whatever you want. Yes it can be abused but you’re not abusing it. How is electricity paid? Split between roommates? Included in the rent? If you’re paying part of the electric bill, she can shut up.

Perimentalpause wrote:

NTA.

"I will use the oven as needed while I live here. It's what it's there for. I'm not going to limit my diet choices because you're panicking over electricity. These are the cooking utensils and appliances we have. I will use them accordingly."

"You're welcome to abstain from small uses yourself, but you do not get to dictate my use. This is the last conversation we're having about this."

Elanstehanme wrote:

NTA - you have offered good compromises and you are being pragmatic about the cleaning situation. Sometimes when people are stressed, on a tight financial budget they will nitpick things like that.

It could be a way for them to feel control in their life (if not over other areas, then at least at home). It might make for a tough living situation to deal with that but it’s a common space and they need to learn to manage their own expectations.

AnimaniacToo wrote:

NTA. You live there, you get to decide how you use the appliances as long as you are not damaging them. IF the electric bill is actually higher because you are using it, then you can (as you are willing to) pay more.

But don’t just take her word for it. Do your own research on this and check in with your other roommate about how she feels about it and whether she thinks it’s reasonable to not use the oven how it works/makes sense for you.