'AITA because my roommate thinks I called her ugly after she asked me an annoying question?'
"AITA for 'telling my roommate that she’s ugly?'"
AppropriateDark3217 writes:
I (21F) am queer, and have been living with my roommates (all 21 or 22F) for about a year now. I only knew one of them when I initially moved in, and as college students in completely different majors we didn’t really have time to get to know one another.
A few days ago, I was on the phone with a friend and said something along the lines of, “I’m not a lesbian, but I’m pretty damn close.” I saw Roommate 1’s head shoot up from the dining room table, but didn’t think much of it since I was on the phone.
I guess she didn’t know that I liked women, because yesterday she stopped me as I was making lunch and said, “I heard your conversation yesterday, I didn’t know you liked women.” She sounded nervous, so I said, “Yeah I do, I hope that’s not a serious issue?” And she responded with the classic, “I mean it’s fine as long as you don’t hit on me!”
Here’s where I might be the AH. My response to that phrase is always “If I wanted to hit on you, you would’ve realized I was gay a LOT sooner.” (It allows me to be snarky to a comment that is VERY annoying, and in my experience is usually, at worst, met with a polite laugh.)
She asked what I meant and I said, “If I wanted to date you I would’ve asked already.” She said, “Oh, okay” and walked out of the kitchen. Later I got a text from Roommate 2 saying I was completely out of pocket and I need to apologize for calling Roommate 1 “ugly”. And like, obviously I didn’t say that but AITA for using that phrase?
ETA: I can’t post screenshots here but this was Roommate 2’s text (which is why this is the post title): “hey, [OP]. [Roommate 1] came to me really upset after you told her you were gay. she was just concerned for the apartment dynamics, and you called her ugly in return. I don't want to meditate any more than this, but you really need to apologize to her”
OP had many people comment on her post.
Specialist-Owl2660 says:
NTA, you didn't call her ugly. You professed you were uninterested in dating her. Those are not the same thing.
Maggiemoo621 says:
Roommate doesn’t want to get hit on. You make it clear it won’t happen. She takes that as an insult. How f^#$ing ridiculous lol. NTA.
OddExperience9430 says:
Your roommate is weird for that NTA but watch out for her.
ScarletNotThatOne says:
NTA. She's inventing an insult that you didn't make. Apparently she believes that every person who likes women must be interested in her, and if they don't try for her, she has the right to feel insulted.