'My roommate's kids peed all over my home, so I gave my roommate 60 days to leave AITA?'
"AITA for telling our roommate his kids can't come here anymore, then giving him notice when he refused?"
Kyzer577 writes:
A year ago, my husband (31M) and I (29F) decided to let an old friend of ours—let's name him Adam (30M)—move in, as his living situation wouldn't allow his children there (all boys, ages 7, 4, & 1). We have a daughter (age 6), so we felt for his situation.
Adam would get the whole basement with his own full-sized fridge, the top floor was ours, and the main floor was a shared common area. Adam was told that common areas must be kept clean by all parties, and everyone is expected to clean their half of the house themselves.
We asked Adam why his kids weren’t welcome at his old place. He said that two of the three kids are not his. He was with a girl for two years on and off and had a baby with her. However, the people he lived with didn’t like him playing daddy to the oldest when they weren’t his kids.
My husband and I found it very strange, but we agreed that two nights a week were okay with us. The first few months were fine, despite having to remind him about cleaning and the smell coming from the basement...
Until one morning, I woke up and stood there in horror when I found raw eggs and shells all over the house! I screamed so loud that Adam came running. After seeing what happened, he investigated, then came back up to apologize.
His excuse was that he overslept, and the oldest admitted that he went into my fridge and couldn’t help himself when he saw the big 30-pack of eggs. From then on, the two oldest kept sneaking upstairs early in the morning while Adam slept—breaking things, stealing things, eating things, and even going to the top floor where we live.
Each time, Adam would apologize and promise to do better to keep them under control. My final straw was when I woke up to my brand-new Costco pack of ice cream sandwiches—half-eaten, melted, and smeared onto multiple surfaces of the house.
It started with a lock on the basement door so Adam could keep the kids downstairs while he slept. Then, we had to remove the lock on the bathroom door because they started locking themselves in and peeing on all surfaces of the bathroom.
We put a baby gate up to keep them out of the living room because they kept stealing and breaking things. They ripped it down twice, so I ended up screwing it into the wall instead.
Present day, our house is so locked down that his kids are only able to be in the basement. The smell from the basement is so strong—like sour milk and vomit—that people refuse to come here anymore, and Adam keeps claiming there is no smell.
Adam has never used a single cleaning product except for baby wipes. The downstairs furniture is all coated in some gross, sticky film. There is paint missing from the walls and some holes.
When we found out I was pregnant, we decided Adam needed to leave for obvious reasons. We were planning on waiting a little longer, as we just wanted him to move before the baby was born and I am only two months along... but then Thursday happened.
I was home alone, so I decided to take advantage of it, blasted some music, and started cleaning. An hour later, I went to throw in a load of laundry. I grabbed the bottle of detergent... it was covered in pee. Pee was everywhere!!! The laundry tub was clogged with pee—on the floor, the side of the washer, now all over my hands—EVERYWHERE!!!
I cleaned it up, put my load in, and called my husband crying. My husband was pissed and messaged our group chat, saying what happened and how the two oldest kids can’t come here any longer.
Adam apologized and said how sorry he was that I cleaned it and that it upset me. Then he stated that those are his children, and it’s unfair to say they can’t come here, and he is going to bring them anyway.
Long story short, I snapped. I told him I put a lock on the laundry door and that he has 60 days to move out. Adam just apologized and took his notice. All our family and friends are happy we are kicking him out because the smell is so bad. Yet, some feel we were attacking the kids for being "different" and that locking them out of rooms was insensitive. So I need to know... AITA?
OP added some extra context:
The kids are only here twice a week, and this all happened over a full year. That’s roughly 104 days. Some weekends they were fine, some weekends they yell-talk really loud or have screaming contests non-stop (not a hurt or in-trouble scream—it’s literally like one of those screams you do if someone asks how loud you can scream).
Other weekends have been obvious hell. This whole thing has been a huge build-up, not one event after another. It’s been almost two months with no huge out-of-pocket issues until the laundry room incident.
Here are the top rated comments.
Icy_Neighborhood5575 says:
Definitely NOT TA. Your roommate is an immature & negligent asshat who should probably have CPS called on him.
Gemfyre1 says:
NTA. Those children are feral. Not your problem. You tried to help a friend, he pissed on the hand that feeds him, then argued that you should like it. 30 days is more like it.
rikunia says:
NTA. You and your husband went above and beyond to help Adam, but he completely disrespected your home, your rules, and your family’s well-being. This isn’t about his kids being “different”—this is about completely unacceptable behavior that has made your home unlivable.
Adam failed to supervise his kids, failed to enforce boundaries, and failed to keep the space clean. The fact that the smell is so bad people refuse to visit is a huge red flag.
No_Attention6060 says:
I dread to see what the basement looks like after they move out. NTA.