'AITA my roommate says I can't moveout until after her wedding, but I need to leave?'
"AITA because my roommate says I can't move out until after her wedding?"
Agreeable_Sky_9983 writes:
I (34F) have been living in hotels and with an ex-partner for the last four months because my apartment tested positive for mold, which I am highly reactive and allergic to. At the same time, my five-year-old dog suddenly became severely ill.
Her X-rays showed alarming inflammation in her lungs, and overnight she was struggling to breathe. I packed a suitcase and left immediately, thinking the mold was affecting her as well. My plan was to find another place to stay while our landlord remediated the house.
Devastatingly, only two and a half weeks later, my dog passed away. Her passing was extremely traumatic for me, but I will omit those details. I was in a very dark place. Not only did I lose my best friend and was living out of a suitcase, I also found out some unfortunate news regarding my own health, all while being unemployed and living on savings and some generous help from my ex-partner.
The night my dog passed away, my ex insisted I move into the extra bedroom in his apartment so I would not grieve alone. He assured me that I could stay for as long as I needed to get back on my feet and for my house to be safe again. We get along very well, and I am so grateful for his help.
The whole time I have been here, both of my roommates have been constantly asking when I was coming back. I have been paying my $2,200 rent plus utilities this whole time. (I live in SF, lol.) My answer has always been the same: I am not coming back until the house is remediated. Unfortunately, something kept delaying the process.
Last week, I finally decided that I no longer wanted to pay rent for a place I was not living in, especially because I was still unemployed. I knew the timing of my notice was less than ideal because my roommate “Kate” (46F), who is the master tenant and responsible for finding a replacement tenant, is in the throes of planning her wedding, as well as dealing with a surrogacy agency and immigration matters for her fiancé.
I felt awful. I knew she would not take the news well, but her reaction was far more extreme than I expected. When I told her I was moving out (seven weeks’ notice), she said the timing did not work for her and that I was being unkind.
She threatened to keep my deposit if I did not push my move-out date by another month. When I told her that was illegal, she started to panic and told me our friendship would be over. I was in shock. She said, “You knew about the wedding for months,” but I honestly did not have the mental clarity to make that kind of decision until very recently. I told her as soon as I knew.
I cannot help but feel horrible and guilty, but all my friends are telling me seven weeks is more than fair and that she is the one being a bad friend. I am not sure because they are obviously biased. I am just so tired of being a people-pleaser, and I would essentially lose over $2,000 to make it convenient for her. AITAH if I do not push my move-out date by another month?
Here are some of the comments from the post with OP's responses.
Queenasheeba99 says:
NTA, but I don't understand why on earth you are all paying rent to the landlord if its tested positive for mold? You should all be renting an AirBnB together or something and not paying for an unlivable house.
OP responded:
I know :( mold affects people in different ways and unfortunately I’m just super sensitive to it. My other roommates aren’t affected at all which is why a bigger action wasn’t taken. I was just glad to get out of there. The grief really prevented me from thinking about the situation clearly, but it’s all hindsight.
Any_Cantaloupe_613 says:
Info: What does your lease agreement say about this? If you are following your lease agreement, then NTA.
OP responded:
Lease agreement says I must give a 1 months notice, which starts on the 1st of the month. Since I gave my notice mid August, it technically starts September 1st and I move out by October 1st. In total I’m giving 7 weeks notice.