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'AITA for telling my entitled SIL that she isn't owed a house for marrying a sugar baby?'

'AITA for telling my entitled SIL that she isn't owed a house for marrying a sugar baby?'

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"AITA for telling my SIL my FIL doesn’t owe her a house"

FishingThink92 writes:

When my husband and I got married, his parents (divorced but still best friends) bought us a house as a wedding gift. I think it’s relevant to mention that my husband and I have been together since high school, and his parents are good friends of my family.

My FIL has been remarried since my husband (Lee) was in middle school, and his new wife—let’s call her Patty—brought along a daughter Lee’s age into the marriage. I’ll call my SIL Eli for simplicity’s sake.

Eli has always had an involved dad and doesn’t have a father-daughter relationship with FIL. Her dad is well-off but has five other kids, so he’s not able to be as generous as my FIL is with Lee, who’s an only child.

Eli is getting married in a month, and she came over out of the blue yesterday to rant because she “found out” that FIL isn’t buying her and her fiancée, Dora, a house as a wedding gift. Lee and I listened to her and Dora’s rant, but Lee got upset and excused himself after Dora started suggesting that FIL might be homophobic.

I told them plainly that they were being ungrateful because FIL is covering their two-month-long honeymoon expenses and paying for a portion of their wedding—he only did the latter for Lee and me. I also added that FIL and MIL paid for the house together, so it wasn’t all him. And Patty didn’t contribute at all, despite being Lee’s stepmom, but that’s not relevant, I guess?

Dora and Eli both got mad at me, said I was defending a bigot, and stormed out. Since then, I’ve been “asked” not to come to the wedding. Patty sided with Eli and is now not on good terms with my FIL, who’s upset and feels like his contributions aren’t being appreciated. So, AITA for telling my SIL that she’s not owed a house?

Edit: Forgot to add—Eli and Dora have only been together for a year and a half. They decided to get engaged spontaneously at Patty’s Thanksgiving dinner. FIL disapproves of Dorothea’s profession (she’s a stripper) but has never outwardly shown it.

I wasn’t sure if it was relevant to bring up their past, but based on a few comments, I think it is. Eli and Dora’s relationship started when they met at Dora’s job. The one-and-a-half years have been more of a sugar mommy/baby dynamic, but Eli has expressed that it’s “serious.” FIL and I are close, and he privately told Lee and me that he doesn’t think they’re in it for the long run.

Here are the top rated comments.

jackiehubertthe3rd says:

Honestly, if she's any good at stripping she should be able to get them a house quickly.

IamIrene says:

NTA. Eli is being rather bold with her expectations. It's pure laziness to equate FIL not buying them a house to him being homophobic. Especially when he's already going above and beyond by paying for an extravagant honeymoon + wedding expenses. Perhaps he should withdraw his support entirely.

VinylHighway says:

I'd withdraw any gifts if my DIL demanded a house.

Meriadoxm says:

NTA Eli and Dora are off their rockers. Sounds like FIL is very generous in general and I can imagine how hurt he must feel that they are so unappreciative. It is your business because Eli included you in it. You’ve been uninvited so accept that with grace and move on.

You haven’t done anything wrong, nobody is owed a house, you’re lucky you got one and it was very generous of both MIL and FIL, Patty should realize that she didn’t help out with buying her stepson a house, why would she expect her husband to buy his stepdaughter a house solo which isn’t even what he did (as he went in with the other parent) for his own son.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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