'AITA for telling my SIL that her leech BF needs to move out of my home after threatening me?'
"AITA for telling my sister-in-law that her boyfriend needs to move out of the house."
CranberryRelative370 writes:
Well, I haven’t told my wife and her sister yet that the sister's boyfriend needs to move out. I want to cross my T’s and dot my I’s—legally speaking—first. Nonetheless, here is the situation:
I (40M) bought a house with my wife while I was living overseas. My wife allowed her sister, her two kids, and the sister’s boyfriend to move into the house with her since I wasn’t living there. The boyfriend (30M) quickly claimed the garage and made it his “man cave.” My wife didn’t care, as she never went into the garage.
When I say he made it his man cave, I mean that he stays down there all day and often sleeps there. He comes out to go to work—unless he has been laid off—uses the bathroom, and raids the refrigerator since he doesn’t eat meals with the family.
After being overseas for almost three years, I have now lived in the house for nearly two years. At my wife's request, I have looked into buying a second home. That way, they could rent one of the homes from us, which would also provide me with the space I need in my own house. While we were looking at houses, I allowed him to continue using the garage.
It turns out that we can’t buy a second house because, after agreeing to pay $700 a month in rent, they have consistently fallen short by $200–$400 a month. Eight months ago, I brought home a motorcycle and told him that he needed to make room in the garage so I could rebuild it. He agreed to this. Unfortunately, he never followed through and continued to sleep in the garage.
So, in mid-December, I told him he needed to move his stuff out of the garage, and I gave him a three-week deadline. Well, we are now well over a month and a half past that due date.
He has told me that he stays in the garage because he doesn’t like living here. He has also said that he will remove his stuff from the garage, but he has yet to follow through. He is upset that he has lived here for “this long” and doesn’t understand why everything has to change now. He tells me he doesn’t have a place to put his stuff and that his family will move out soon (despite not actually having a time frame).
I have pointed out that he can simply pack his stuff in boxes and stack them in a corner since he is “moving” anyway, or that he can get a storage unit—like I had to—because his family is taking up three bedrooms and my garage.
His response to this was to threaten to kick my a%^ and tell me to talk to my sister-in-law because he doesn’t want to talk to me. There is obviously more to the story, but those are the basics. If more details are needed, let me know, and I will provide them.
Finally, my first inclination was to let him off with a warning that under no circumstances should he ever threaten me again because I would go to the police if it happened again. However, after sleeping on it, I am leaning toward removing him from the property now. My reason is simple: I wouldn’t tolerate him threatening violence against anyone else in the house, so by that same logic, threatening me should be no different.
Here are the top rated comments:
Rich-Ad8534 says:
NTA. He’s been disrespecting you and threatening you. Time for him to go.
Winternin says:
No, you should talk to your wife. It's her sister's bf, not your sister's bf. You talk as if your wife and your sister weren't even in the picture. Your wife needs to tell her sister to move out along with her kids and bf, period
BlankSpacexz says:
He’s got a man-cave but can’t even find a man-box for his stuff? He needs a lesson in adulting before he tries to adult in your garage.
MajorAd2679 says:
Start an official eviction process. It should have been done months/years ago. If you ever buy a 2nd home, don’t rent it to family. As you saw from experience, they don’t pay as agreed.