'AITA for telling my SIL to ask her daughter to stop harassing my son over her stuffie?'
"AITA for telling my SIL to ask her kid to stop harassing my son?"
LucyTheUSB writes:
So, we recently had a birthday dinner for my MIL, and the whole family was there. My SIL has a daughter who is 7 years old, and my son is 4. We’ve only met them twice because she lives out of state, but they’re here for a week on vacation. Her daughter was recently homeschooled, so they’re using this time to travel more.
At the dinner, SIL’s daughter had a stuffed toy that she left on the floor, which my son picked up and started playing with. A little later, we heard her looking for it, so my son ran up to her and said, “Here you go!”
SIL’s daughter then asked my son where he got it from in a really aggressive and accusatory tone, which immediately made him nervous. He just told her he forgot while trying to thrust the toy into her hands. SIL’s daughter refused to take it and yelled, “But where did you get it?!” My son kept saying he didn’t know as she grew more and more frustrated.
My FIL jumped in and told her it was on the floor. She just glared at him and said, “But I want HIM (my son) to tell me where he got it!” At that point, I stepped in and told my son to come to me so he could watch videos on my iPad next to me. My SIL just rolled her eyes and told her daughter, “It doesn’t matter, girl.”
About 20 minutes later, my son got tired of his videos and was playing alone in the TV room with his own toys. SIL’s daughter grabbed one of his toys and refused to give it back, repeatedly asking, “Where did you find my stuffie?!” She kept insisting that he needed to be punished because he was a liar.
I took the toy from her, told her it wasn’t nice to yell at people, especially kids younger than her, and carried my son to the dining area with me. I then told my SIL to get her daughter to stop harassing my son, as her daughter screamed from the TV room, “Where did you find it?! It’s a simple question!” My SIL basically told me that her daughter expects honesty and that she wasn’t going to punish her for wanting the truth.
We left shortly after because my son was starting to cry. My FIL walked us out and said he was shocked by his granddaughter’s behavior. This is only the second time we’ve seen them—the first time was when she was a toddler.
Later on, my husband received a scathing text from his sister, telling him to keep me in line, calling me a b%@*h, and asking how dare I discipline someone else’s kid and accuse a 7-year-old of harassment. She also said that my son shouldn’t have taken her daughter’s toy and that I didn’t even make him apologize.
My son gave her toy right back when she asked for it. AITA for telling her daughter off when she was taunting my 4-year-old? Should I have just taken the toy from her and not said anything?
OP responded to some comments.
Accomplished-Tuna100 says:
Oh wow she’s going to be a fun teen! NTA I’m guessing she isn’t socialized well and doesn’t know about sharing.
OP responded:
She is an only child but she was in a public school until very recently.
Random_arcadia says:
NTA. Your SIL is pathetic. I feel sorry for her daughter because of her parents' choice to homeschool her—it's depriving her of the basic socialization that everyone needs.
The fact that her mother sees nothing wrong with her daughter interrogating and berating a child who is three years younger than her says a lot about how she is treated at home. She is clearly used to getting what she wants, so when someone is incapable of giving her what she wants, it creates new emotions for her since she isn’t used to being told no—setting her up for failure.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if your SIL is extremely similar to your niece. For the girl to behave that way, someone (most likely an adult figure she spends a lot of time with) had to have taught her or at least displayed that behavior in front of her. The parents are the only ones to blame for the way they are handling her schooling.
OP responded:
She wasn’t homeschooled until like a month ago. She used to go to a public school from Kindergarten until half of first grade. My husband said she probably has behavioral problems at school which is why she’s being homeschooled. Either way, I’m glad they live out of state. I would hate to force my son to be in the same room with her every time we see family on weekends.
What do you think?