'AITA for telling my sister she can't use the bathroom in the morning?'

"AITA for telling my sister she can't use the bathroom?"

I am a twenty-year-old disabled person. I get up at 6:30 AM every day and have to leave home at 8:00 AM to go to work. I take medication in the morning, and I have to wait 30 minutes after taking it before I can eat my breakfast or it will not work.

I live in France and in most houses and apartments the toilets are in a separate room. The sinks and the shower or bath are in another room. That is the case in our apartment, so we can all use the toilets freely if the bathroom is in use and locked.

I also sometimes take longer to shower since my mobility is reduced and I might need to sit, and I have a hard time washing my hair. I wake up extra early just for this even though I have chronic fatigue and need to sleep longer than average. I go to bed between 8:00 PM and 8:30 PM to try to meet my needs, but it is still not enough.

So I wake up, take my medication, go to shower, and when I have my underwear on I go back to my room to get ready. Only then can I eat breakfast. I still have to make my lunch for work. My sister is 15 and she wakes up at the last minute every day to go to her high school. She showers at night and she is the only one with a room that can be locked, so she does not need to lock herself in the bathroom or get dressed in there.

But every morning when I try to shower she is inside the bathroom, locked in for 20 minutes, just to get dressed. Every morning I get upset because she has other options and is blocking me from getting ready. When I try to explain this to her, a bit annoyed I will admit, my sister screams at me or lies to my face about what she is doing.

Our mother gets mad at me for being mean and says it is not worth it and not that important anyway, like I am being dramatic. In their opinion it is not a big deal and she can use the bathroom whenever she wants, and I am just impatient.

But I am trying to be respectful and let her use the bathroom for its intended use at the times she needs it. I will wait for her to use it or brush my teeth and hair extra early so she can use the bathroom freely at her usual times.

It is not the first time my sister and my mother have told me I am in the wrong in this situation, so I am starting to worry they might be right. But to me it is just poor time management and a lack of consideration from her side. So am I the a^$%ole?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Minimum_Schedule6155 says:

YTA. As someone who also has a chronic illness and a disability, not everything can revolve around us; we do need to be fair. Your sister is entitled to use the bathroom for 20 minutes in the morning for whatever purpose she likes. You know how long she's in there for and when; work around it. Having a sibling with extra needs is hard. Don't cause issues where they needn't be any.

OP responded:

She uses the bathroom to lock herself to get dressed. She's showering at night. And she has a room which she can lock. What I don't understand is why should I revolve around her when I'm asking only one thing, that I can't accommodate or change anymore than I already do, but that she can.

For even more context: She has to leave at 7:00AM for high school, and is able-bodied. To me she have ways to manage her time to accommodate everyone (her not being late and me being able to take my meds safely), that's what I don't understand!

stophittingthyself says:

YTA. Out of the 90 minutes, she uses 20. You have a whole hour after she leaves. She has a right to use a shared bathroom in the mornings. You work round each others schedules, not just yours.

BlessedHealer says:

YTA. I think it’s unreasonable of you to dictate that she is not allowed to use the bathroom at all in the morning. Personally even if I showered at night, I would still need 15-20 mins in the bathroom in the morning to poo/pee, brush teeth, wash face etc. If she leaves at 7 and you need to leave at 8 that’s a whole hour of uninterrupted bathroom time. Why don’t you just eat and do everything else 6.30-7 then shower once she’s left?

What do you think?