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'My sister chose my dad's GF as her MOH so I dropped out of her bridal party, AITA?'

'My sister chose my dad's GF as her MOH so I dropped out of her bridal party, AITA?'


Woan drops out of her sister's bridal party after finding out her dad's girlriend is her sister's maid of honor.

Ok-Love1831 writes:

For context, when I (32F) was a teen, my parents ended up getting a divorce. My mom got full custody because my dad said he needed time off as he couldn’t take care of us when everything was still raw.

When he was around, he spent most of his time with my sister Maria (25F) rather than me, saying “she needed him more.” This was a sore spot for me growing up, especially when he made an effort for Maria but never for me. He has tried to reconcile, and while we aren’t on the best of terms, I’ve grown to accept it.

He ended up meeting Jane (57F) at a bar, and they hit it off. While I personally don’t mind him moving on, Jane was obsessed with the idea of reconciling our relationship. The few times I’ve met her, she would get into arguments with me, claiming that my dad only wants his daughter back and to give him a chance.

Last summer, we were having a dinner at Maria’s flat, where she and dad were discussing an upcoming family vacation. When Jane asked what I thought about the trip, I informed her I wasn’t going. She immediately started questioning me about it. Suffice it to say, it ended up in a screaming match as she claimed I was purposefully icing her and my dad out.

I told her I was a grown adult and that if she didn’t like it, she had someone else following her like a puppy. My dad got involved, and I ended up choosing to leave, but not before she shouted that I was my mom’s lap dog. Maria ended up kicking them both out afterwards too.

I haven’t spoken to either my dad or Jane since that day. With Maria’s upcoming wedding, I’ve expected to see them there, and I’ve made my peace to just stay as far away as possible. But a few days ago, she told me she had a MOH in mind.

She claimed Jane has been nothing but sweet to her and that she felt like she was her close friend. As she was talking, she said that Jane was really sorry and was trying to reach out to apologize, but I cut her off.

I told her if she wanted her as her MOH, it was her wedding and choice, but I personally didn’t want to be in a position where I have to keep interacting with her over every little detail. I would still attend the wedding, but I wouldn’t be a bridesmaid.

This made her tear up. She begged me to reconsider, as she really wanted me to be part of her big day, and I told her I will, but just as an attendee. In the end, she said it’s okay, but asked me to reconsider.

News got to my dad and Jane, and now my dad has sent several messages telling me that I’m acting childish and that I’m ruining Maria’s day. AITA for leaving? I feel like this way we can avoid any potential conflict, but I also want to be part of her day.\

Here are the top comments from the post:

SpringOk5943 says:

So... hypothetical situation, you are in a relationship and you were told to drop any and all identity and be a doormat to make the other person happy, what would your recommendation be? I hope it would be to tell them to go pound sand.

That's exactly what is happening here. You have problems with the step mom, who has shown themselves to be... sub optimal and combative. (Calling anybody a lap dog is a AH move.) You don't want to have many interactions with this woman and you found a compromise. Your sister is hurt, I guess understandably, but she needs to grow up.

The world does not revolve around her even if she's getting married. Her running and whining to Daddy is a problem. Your Dad needs to hush. You are doing the right thing here. Your bending to be at your sisters wedding, but not breaking your internal rules. Good for you!

You are NTA (Not the A%@^ole). Your dad and step mom are and your sister is slightly an AH for being whiney to daddy because you won't do what she wants you to.

1Preschoolteacher says:

NTA. However, your sister, dad, and Jane suck big time. 1) Your dad sucks because he basically abandoned you after the divorce. You don't get to just walk away from the responsibilities of parenthood for a while because you are in pain and too "raw". You suck it up and deal with the situation because your children matter more than the hurt you are experiencing.

2) Jane sucks because she is a boundary stomper. She wasn't there. She doesn't really know how your dad acted. She also doesn't get to tell you how you should feel. She also sucks for saying that you are the lap dog of your mother. She sounds like a real peach. /s

3) Your sister sucks because asking Jane to be her MOH feels very manipulative to me. It seems like it was her way of forcing the two of you to be together frequently thereby healing the relationship.

Your relationship with Jane and your dad is your business and your sister needs to stay out of it. At this point, your sister should be happy that you are still willing to attend her wedding. Y'all just needs to keep your distance at the reception and be civil should you pass each other. Sometimes there has just been too much damage in a family and things will never be the way people wish them to be.

excel_pager_420 says:

It's very weird to make your dad's girlfriend your MOH. Does Maria not have any friends her own age? How does her Mum feel about that? Anyway, NTA for knowing there would be drama if you were a bridesmaid with Jane as MOH and deciding to attend as a guest.

saintandvillain says:

NTA. Funny that your dad can decide when he can and can’t be around you but you’re childish when you make a decision about whose company you keep. These people all sound self absorbed and I wouldn’t blame you for blocking all 3 and moving on.

What do you think? Should OP have dropped out of

Sources: Reddit
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