"AITA for throwing my niece a birthday party?"
I’m an auntie, and I never want kids. My husband and I went over to my big sister’s house about two weeks ago. She has four kids: my homegirl Legacy (13f) and my nephews Leon (4), Leo (4), and Landon (3 weeks). I’m not very fond of the twins because they take up their sister’s attention and space.
Legacy just turned 13 two weeks ago! When it was time for the party, absolutely NONE of her friends came. It was only her cousins, ages 8-4, and I was pissed because, yes, cousins can come, but what about her friends?!
Her cousins are literally still under the age of 10, and most of them are boys. They don’t even spend time with her anymore because she’s “older” to them. She told me she has maybe 3 best friends she wanted to invite.
Legacy didn’t have ANY fun whatsoever. Her mom had a ball pit for little kids, a small water slide, and one of those inflatable water slides for small kids… it was hell, I tell you, HELL. In the goodie bags, my sister put a whole bunch of kid stuff in there, and I promise to God I almost peed on myself from being disturbed by the fact that she had a damn Minnie and Mickey Mouse mini drawing pad in there.
And NOT ONLY DID SHE HAVE BABY STUFF IN THERE, LEGACY DIDN’T EVEN GET A GODDAMN BAG!! I mean, yeah, it had baby stuff in it, but at least let her have a f*&^in' bag. Legacy couldn’t even do anything because her mom had her taking care of her brother.
She put one candle on the cake, which was confusing to me because she’s 13, not 1. But then she blew the candle out, and my sister put another one on. She told the kids to line up, and they all blew out the candles. I was fuckin' damned outta this world… like, if she doesn’t get her fuckin' shit together, I swear…
But then I left because I was so pissed. So I did what I do best… and took matters into my own hands. My husband and I were so mad at my sister that we decided to be the RESPONSIBLE AND INTELLIGENT ADULTS and give Legacy what she really wanted.
We moved the furniture in a room, added pillows, blankets, Squishmallows, and Legacy’s favorite snacks. I had a nail place set up, and I bought us some girly pajamas. Me, her, and her friend (not the boys) had a great time. Then the next day, my husband took her and her friends (including the boys) to a skating place, and we took them to go eat. It was the best.
My sister and BIL were mad that we didn’t do anything with the smaller kids and just focused on the older ones. I told her what she did two weeks ago was shitty and very immature, and she said I was a terrible auntie.
Here are the top rated comments:
misscaulfieldsays says:
NTA - if this is so reoccurring, it is some unhinged parenting that will forever make Legacy feel disregarded time and time again and teach her siblings that their wants are more important than her needs.
The parents should be more than onboard with one special day for one of their children at a time. You did a sweet thing and I’m sure she’ll cherish that memory and your relationship so much more.
FordWarrier says:
In just a few short years your sister is going to complain to you that Legacy doesn’t call her, doesn’t visit ever and she doesn’t understand why. Tell her the truth. I’m glad your niece has you and your husband. NTA.
Ok_Passage_6242 says:
NTA. Just make sure your niece comes to you next year around her birthday and you ask her what kind of party she wants to have. When you get lost in a family like that and she will, if this is already happening at 13, she’s got five more years of it. It’s really important to have people like you and her life To make it better.
Manky-Cucumber says:
Maybe it's my OCD, but am I the only one thinking that cake had to be gross after all those kids slobbering over it? The whole thing was a shit show geared towards the little kids. Good thing you stepped up and gave her a fun time. She'll never forget it.
About a week and a half later OP came back with this update:
Me and my husband has been talking about taking Legacy in our home. I simply told them that even though they have a newborn and two toddlers she still deserves the attention and love. I told them I could understand if they couldn’t do something big for her for her birthday. Then they just laughed and I was confused as hell.
They said having toddlers, newborn, money has nothing to do with it. They said that they ASKED THE BOYS what they wanted at her party and they did it so THEY did feel excluded. Legacy wanted a girly type party- spa themed party.
My sister said that Legacy wanted just her friends there and not little kids and they told me that she said the reason why is because Legacy said that whenever they’re around they intentionally either hit her or break something of hers and thinks it’s funny. I told her that it made sense WHY she didn’t want them there.
My sister said that the boys are her first priority right after her husband. I ain’t finna lie… I kinda hate my sister for this cause she should know not to leave someone out let alone her own daughter.
She left me out all the time and I felt so excluded but then again I was that annoying little sister so I understood but Legacy isn’t me and she doesn’t even hang out with the younger boys as much anymore because of what they do.
Me and my husband are REALLY thinking about taking Legacy from her. And she even said that she didn’t care as long as she babysits the baby at night.
2 days later OP posted this update:
Alright y’all buckle up it’s a ride. My sister told me that she refuses to give Legacy up and I told her that she was abusing her and she swore up and down she wasn’t. I turned this recording in and CPS got involved. They went into my sister’s house asking questions and talking to the kids as well. The kids surprised me with this.
My nephews told the man “Mommy and Daddy makes Lee lee thats legacy’s nickname have baby brother and they don’t give her pay or candy” they said it in a sweet but very confusing sentence but we understood what they were saying. The man left and came back that afternoon when Legacy came home from school and he talked to her and before he did I told her to tell the truth and don’t lie for her parents.
She told them everything and then something I didn’t even know is that there are marks on her legs and she said her dad gave her those because she refused to watch the baby once. He immediately got taken to the police department and Legacy is in the hospital just for medical purposes.
I’m talking to an attorney, the Georgia's Procedures and Requirements for Terminating Parental Rights, and the DFCS. My husband wrote a petition to the court stating everything from day one. That’s all for now! I’ll keep y’all updated!